One of the mental impacts of #chinesevirus is a classic demand supply problem

It leaves one restless demanding for ways to pass time and get over uneasiness

It also kills desire to acquire supply, be it books, hobbies, visual content

Peak bridging issue

Another thing that makes it deadly is memory issues it causes

- brain fogging
- loss of days from memory
- inability to put task to calendar on what you did when

It’s almost like taking a detour to another life and returning to continue except you don’t remember the detour

Third thing is mismatch in mental and physical level. I write this on day 3 of returning to consciousness while trying to make sense

Luckily, the brain energy is flowing right but huge mismatch with physical levels. Brain allows thinking while body refuses to take even a step

There’s a span of half a week that missing from my memory.

I remember one terrible incidence of fainting and crying for help. The next memory I have is apparently 2-3 days later.

Where how what why of my existence aren’t known to me. What happened after help cry, don’t know

Now that I’m trying to make sense and attempting to recover, I see myself 8 kgs lighter, weaker and negligible muscle strength.

I never looked as lean even in teenage.

In this phase of comprehensions, I’m trying to connect dots of how my mind responded and is responding

Contrary to the believe, one thing that helped was physical fitness.

I never paid attention to it until the previous winter. If I’ve to believe the experts and document my own experience, if I didn’t take the leap in winter, I’d have threatened my existence.

For now, I have spent last 2 days sitting in one place staring in oblivion.

Tried distracting with a bit of work, reading and watching a movie. Mind is, unexpectedly, desperately pushing towards equilibrium (thankfully)

But the physical toll is unparalleled.

It’s an unsettling feeling
I was contaminated by air

Trying to convince and find answers to questions like

Whose mistake was it?
Whom and what do I blame/rant about?

Might keep extending this thread as more thoughts meet me. Sigh