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Might delete later but: Should I straight up tell the person who effed up my life to just pay my therapy copays for every session I have to sort through what they did
I hate that I still think about it and how much it affects me. It truly truly feels like ongoing mental torture w pain that shoots through my body and and incredible amount of anger, but the kind that just shuts you down and turns to crying
And on top of it when I legit spoke w them about it, and off the bat owned up to my part in things, they still REALLR dug in that I also caused issues. Like thanks I know what I did, even if it was mostly reactive, I don’t need to hear it
And most things that did happen were in response to their behavior, they literally were the cause and still played victim when it was supposed to be about making things better when they completely shattered me, but somehow it was still on me
Still on me for what I did, they conveniently didn’t remember details of some things they started, and still on me to fix everything and also talk them through their own emotions
Also! Anything I’d tell them about they’d just like share w other people etc and like? Couldn’t I just have anything w a friend that was just like between us and cool and nice? That wasn’t for them to look cool or take?
When thoughts about this comes up I get so angry. Like. Okay. I’m angry at a lot of things but jot like seething and wanting to scream angry and I hate it. I hate feeling anger legit throughout my body and not knowing what to do w that
*not
Also not to go into too much detail but I hate the fact that bc of how they treated me I feel absolutely broken and like ppl are going to lie and go away and even if I’m being incredibly genuine and sweet and kind it’s wrong and not enough or too much
Also not to go into too much detail but I hate the fact that bc of how they treated me I feel absolutely broken and like ppl are going to lie and go away and even if I’m being incredibly genuine and sweet and kind it’s wrong and not enough or too much
And it bothers me soooooo much bc I felt so wanted around and like I could completely trust them and they wanted to spend time w me and enjoyed it and having sooooo much pulled out gutted me. Before they were a total d!ck to me they genuinely positively affected my life a lot
Anyway I will delete this thread I’m just so angry tonight and angry at myself that I still feel some kind of mix of sympathy mixed with so much heartache and anger
On top of it like they just get everything handed to them and nothing ever seems to really super matter and even when they’ve been nice to me it seems to so confusing bc like okay if there’s value idk show it or prove it or be better and they’re just not
