This community is so horrifying. So horrifying. This isn't about me, but I need to say this once more, HEED MY ADVICE. COMMUNICATE.

This thread is about Zane de Klerk and his untimely, unnecessary death.

I've been waiting for something like this to happen eventually, because the community doesn't actually know what happens to people after they've been ostracized. The community doesn't know what causes people to make bad decisions.

I don't know how many times I've tried to make this clear over the past two years: No Person Is Inherently Evil. When someone does something reprehensible, what is the response? If your answer is "let them die in a ditch," you're the abuser, not the rescue-team you think you are.

I need to make sure I'm addressing these things systemically, so what I'll say is, there's a certain subconscious social catharsis found in ostracizing people from the community. I'll explain why I find it understandable first, then I'll explain why I find it disgusting:

Typically, when people commit reprehensible actions, it's either a result of poor socialization, or poor psychological conditions. Your decision making system is downstream of your current, and past environment, and the responses you have had to that environment in the past.

When someone in a more-or-less tightly knit, sizable social group commits a reprehensible action, the common response to that is ostracization. Why is that?

Well, typically, in these sizable social groups, people don't have the ability to fix the underlying psychological problems the aggressor is facing. From this sense of helplessness, or hopelessness, people are forced into picking a side, as if it were team-sports.

And obviously and justifiably, people don't pick sides with aggressors, they pick sides with victims. Resultingly, a certain catharsis is felt in the social group for "doing what they can" to root out aggressors. This behaviour, I find understandable.

Now for why I find it disgusting nonetheless. I'll ask you now, as a member of this community, where do you think people go when they've been ostracized from a social group? One of two places. Either they move to another social group, Or They Go Nowhere.

Now things are seeming a little more unstable. "Rooting out an aggressor" has just become "pushing an aggressor into another community," or worse, "isolating someone in intense psychological distress." Do you think this is conducive to good outcomes?

Ask yourself this question, and don't let yourself get caught in the trap of subconsciously justifying your behaviour, that behaviour doesn't matter anymore, so long as you practice introspection. If your answer is "yes," please seek psychological assistance as soon as possible.

If your answer is "no," then I think you can begin to see why I find this community's behaviour disgusting. As I've said, this is systemic, not individual, it's resulting from poorly addressed social psychology, not poorly addressed individual psychology.

For the past couple years, I have been tweeting out my suggestions for this community. My last thread was about the community for god's sake. I've tried positing my opinions on systemic approaches nearly every single time something serious happens within the community.

If you want a good summary, read through this: https://twitter.com/PZL_Neuro/status/1389048751470399494?s=20

This is NOT to say that every aggressor is so because of past trauma. The world doesn't work in such stark binaries, but here is what's necessarily the case: Every aggressor got there for one reason or another. The goal should be to eliminate the roots. Not the person.

Not everyone can do this, which is why I said in that thread that it starts at the local level of communicating with and responding to your friends. If therapy is necessary, direct them to therapy. If medication is necessary, then their doctor will work with that.

If it's just a poor decision, then just let them know what they're doing is wrong. Always be communicative. If you need to step out, make sure they still have a support group. Been doing this with someone that hurt me for a year and a half now.

You're not obligated to anyone, but please, do what you can to make a positive change in people's lives, just the people you're close to. Rooting out those fundamental issues leads to less abusive behaviour, and less abusive behaviour means less abused people. Think ahead.

I'll give you an answer for what happens when people are ostracized with nowhere to go. Either they find the resolve to continue with the few people that'll still pay attention to them and hopefully find help for their psychological problems. Or...

There's nothing left.

Rest in peace.