My mom once told me wished she could've had more kids, she just really enjoyed being a mom. Why out of her daughters did her trans daughter (me) have to be the one to inherit that instinct so strongly. Sigh.

I delayed transitioning for so long in hopes of being a parent... It seemed like the right trade-off at the time, heh. I tried so hard to pretend to be a cis het guy but I just couldn't pull it off :/

It is what it is but it's still kinda sad, idk.

My sisters both have kids so I have 3 niblings now (I love the word--gender neutral niece/nephew). It was so wonderful when they were born, and I'm a very proud Aunt Jenny now :)

I just wish it wasn't also a bit painful, thinking about how my body can never get pregnant. :/

(I've never been attached to the idea of genetically related kids, so adoption is like possible in theory, I think where I live it's legal for an unmarried LGBT person. But even for married cis het folks I've heard adoption was really difficult.)

(Same thing with surrogacy. It used to be de facto illegal where I live but may have changed, even so idk it's accessible.)

I mean rationally I know raising a human child is an *incredible* amount of effort and responsibility, having heard just a fraction of the difficulty my sisters have gone through, and heard many stories over the years from friends etc.

But it doesn't stop the desire.