I’m going to lay this out for the name-callers in the back row. 1/

In intimate relationships, conversation is — on balance — a more critical component of connection for women than it is for men.

Physical intimacy is — on balance — a more critical component of connection for men than it is for women. 2/

(For you name-callers, “on balance” means not-always and not-exclusively. It is a way of saying “let’s discuss the effects at the margins.”

If you don’t know what “margin” means, it’s something you put on toast.) 3/

There are men all around you who have been deprived for years of that critical component of connection.

You are not aware of their suffering because they keep it to themselves. Most of them feel ashamed and defeated, so they are silent about their problem. 4/

But make no mistake: they are in pain. They also feel isolated and trapped. Isolated because no one discusses this, and trapped because they can't leave.

“Why don’t they just get a divorce” you ask.

Good question! You get to move up a row. 5/

They don’t leave because they have done the math. They know that leaving would be more costly, embarrassing, complicated, and painful than staying.

So, as miserable as they are, they stay. They remain faithful to their cold, barren marriages.

They run out the clock. 6/

Now I am quite certain that many of you name-callers are the first to blame toxic male stoicism for this problem.

“They should learn to express their emotions!” you say. 7/

Well, if that’s you, I have good news!

This is your opportunity to show these men it’s OK to discuss their pain. This is your opportunity to open that door by empathizing with them.

You can take a bite out of toxic male stoicism!

So. You on board, or nah?

/fin