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I sometimes hear people say “you are not your code”.
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While it certainly can be good to disconnect from what you have written, most people will feel some attachment to what they have created.
Just like other artists, for instance musicians, programmers can also feel a connection to what they’ve written. I think it’s because they lay a bit of their personality in their creation. I’m not saying that coding is art, but the same mechanism applies.
You would never say to a musician: “you are not your music”.
This is why creators can feel vulnerable about their work, because they, apart from the time they spent, also showed a bit of their personality.
If you’ve never experienced this kind of feeling before, go create something yourself and share it with the world. I think you will feel that “vulnerability”.
Some people will feel it harder. I think if music or code is your life’s work, you will feel a greater connection. It can become harder not to take things personally. Or said otherwise, it’s easier to let criticism, warranted or unwarranted, get to you harder than it should.
As a creator, I feel that it’s a balancing act mentally to manage the connection towards creations. Of course, it’s ok to be proud of your work, but you most also not feel too connected so you’re not susceptible to cheap criticism.
In any case, just be kind to everybody that has created something. A creator usually has put a lot of thought in something. When giving criticism, put in the same effort by first reflecting on what you’re going to say, instead of immediately start criticising.
