Day 7 #APAHM thread from my #blogpost which I'll link at the end: "My daughter is the continuation of a maternal line of strong women, of those who resisted, in ways seen and unseen, what society said that they could do." 1/

"But she also could be the continuation of a maternal line that suppressed so much rage and denied themselves the love they so freely gave to others" 2/

"I am the continuation of both those lines, embracing our legacy of resistance and trying to allow myself to feel the rage I carry that my mother, aunt and grandmother did not feel safe to express because of the consequences that might come to them or their families..." 3/

"...trying to allow myself to acknowledge that I deserve better, that they deserved better, that my daughter deserves better....But in addition to all of this, Mother’s Day begin in May which is also Asian Pacific American Heritage Month causes me, today, to pause." 4/

"It is another layer of loss for me. As a second generation Asian American, I mourn how quickly I’ve lost connection with my Taiwanese roots.

I struggle to reclaim some of those ties to my maternal line and their histories so that I can share them with my daughter." 5/

"My mother, having died when I was an adolescent, before I had the wisdom to embrace her wisdom, and her mother having transitioned before her, left me untethered to their histories." 6/

"Now, I want to reconstruct these ephemeral moments that seem to be blown into the wind, transcribed in short notes, in script I still can’t read, with my cursory Chinese language skills.

I feel the loss so deeply within me." 7/

Full #blogpost here: https://professorhsieh.edublogs.org/2021/05/07/lost-and-found/