Earlier today @ContraPoints made a (now deleted) thread hoping to mend the rift between herself and much of the trans community, and many of the replies were disappointing but familiar-demanding apologies for things that never happened, or for things she’s already apologized for.

At the same time people have become so used to the apologies-as-content industry that it’s become an expected part of the ritual, so it’s no wonder people default to seeing apologies as insincere. It's a paradox - demanding sincere apologies that feel insincere, bc performative.

So many of these “you can’t admit wrongdoing” tweets at Natalie are projection, bc people can’t admit where they were mistaken, or overreacted, or missed when [thing they’re mad about] was addressed, so they move goalposts, or call the apology inadequate, or demand something new.

They can’t say “oops, my bad” when confronted with “I have addressed this” or “this accusation is untrue” - so instead they twist their own ignorance or bad faith into somehow the accusee’s fault, demand the accusee apologize even though the accuser was mistaken or misinformed.

There are some “transgressions” that don’t warrant a heartfelt “mea culpa” - and that is the issue at heart here. Natalie has addressed her controversies many times in a way that was honest to her, but she isn’t going to lie to placate unreasonable people. I feel the same.

I made a 140 minute video (same length as Natalie’s) because that was the amount of time I felt I needed to address the topic with as much nuance as I was willing to give it—putting it into a few tweets would be just dishonest, but I feel dishonesty is what a lot of people want.

We both used YT for apologies we felt were warranted bc that's our biggest platform. Part of the reason why I wanted to include the entire "list" was bc there was some stuff I've felt bad about for years and wanted to address but people still accuse us both of “never apologizing”

I think the way Natalie addressed people’s accusations of wrongdoing, both in her videos and elsewhere, was honest and more than adequate. If people think it’s not enough, that’s their right to disagree with her, if they aren’t spreading mistruth (which many in the thread were).

But if her sentiment of “I want to mend the rift between myself and others in the trans community” is met with false accusations and demands for insincere apologies and moved goalposts as the only path forwards, then we are back where we started. And that is disheartening.