For many years now my esteemed colleague @Ragoff2 & myself have been the senior management team on Twitter removing accounts that we found to be falling short of our very high expectations

Many of the accounts we removed were insignificant people, like yourselves (1/5)

Some were better known but no less very fucking annoying like Donald Trump, Katie Hopkin & David Vance!

We take our responsibility very seriously as we provide an important service to ensure Twitter remains safe to use & for birds to admire mine & Stu’s incredible prowess (2/5)

So, it’s become apparent to us that both #CFC & #MCFC fans are 99% dickheads so we’ve had no choice but to extend our reach beyond Twitter & ensure these scruffy Manc bin sniffers & fat tongued Burberry wearing racist cockney knobheads can’t enjoy the #ChampionsLeague final (3/5)

We have today communicated with that Tory boff @BorisJohnson & told him to put #Turkey on the #REDLIST to ensure the fine city of #İstanbul only remembers the legacy of the finest football supporters from the home of European & #ChampionsLeague royalty #Liverpool (4/5)

So in summary I’d like to ask you all to take a moment to consider your actions & behaviour & bear in mind that me & Stu have always got our eye on you! Whoever you are or wherever you are! We’re the fucking management you scruffy maggots never forget this! (5/5)