England has places named Dorking, Barking, and Woking.

Nobody can top English place names.

P.S. Woking is a safe Conservative area, which is of course just perfect irony.

Also home to The Jam, Britain's greatest rock group that never made any impression at all in America!

Ferry from Twatt in the Orkneys to Scotland, and then you can drive south down through Cock Bridge, Dick Place, Cockermouth, move through Penistone and Cock Alley, slide east into Slutshole Lane, down through Fingringhoe, and end up on the south coast at Ass Hill and Shitterton.

I literally made none of the above up. Juvenile? For sure. Hilarious? Also for sure. I regret nothing.

I had to check on each of these to make sure this wasn't just some grand joke on the ridiculousness of English place-names. "Shitterton" literally is named that because it was a town built around a stream used as an open sewer. It means *exactly* what you think it means.

You have to be familiar with British slang usage to laugh as hard at this as I am, but one of my tweeps just informed me there's a place in Yorkshire called Randy Bell End and I'm just dying. I'm dyin' folks.

BTW I just did this using Google Satellite maps, proving that it is entirely for real. Alas 1,066 miles seems to be an alteration, it is in fact 1,077 miles.