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My husband has something planned for Sunday. It doesn't involve me leaving. It also doesn't involve him & the kids leaving. I feel another gift disaster coming on.
Last year I got herb shears, a bulky dicing gadget that cut me in the bag so I bled everywhere, a stainless steel soap & a manual can opener. His mom gifted me an electric can opener for my birthday 2 months earlier.
There was also the scheduled in-person crafting courses he bought me for my Cricut, which I had already been using for months. It was non-refundable. I helped the instructor during the course.
The lilies he left out for me before his shift that the cat ate & projectile vomited from the top of the carpeted steps & hitting all of them just to add that special fuck you feeling to the day. All of my kids were suddenly blind & couldn't stop walking through it.
The time he got me chocolates but ate them all throughout the day & left me one chocolate covered pretzel just to prove me wrong since I had told him days before that he always eats the last of everything.
Two years ago he made me a photo collage for my work desk & a photo mug. When we went to brunch at his mom's, I saw that he gifted her the exact mug & collage, complete with the "we love you mom" message
When he let me sleep in but the kids were in my face every twenty minutes and my then 4 yo shit in our bathroom & clogged the toilet.
I almost forgot the bath bombs that had surprise glitter that took months to scrub off the tub & gave me weeks of sparkly feet. It was the only time my house actually sparkled.
I almost forgot the teddy bears with my & my daughter's face on their shirts. I have to literally look myself in the eyes every time I try to get rid of it.
The scavenger hunt he let my daughter create. But she forgot where she hid her alphabetical clues so we're like "hey, what would you have used for C? Couch? Clock?" It ended with a meltdown & another alphabetical guessing game during which I just said fuck it & started drinking
My requests are always free: let me sleep in, let me enjoy a hot cup of coffee, let me shower peacefully, or give me a few hours to myself. That is all I want.
