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My husband has something planned for Sunday. It doesn& #39;t involve me leaving. It also doesn& #39;t involve him & the kids leaving. I feel another gift disaster coming on.
Last year I got herb shears, a bulky dicing gadget that cut me in the bag so I bled everywhere, a stainless steel soap & a manual can opener. His mom gifted me an electric can opener for my birthday 2 months earlier.
There was also the scheduled in-person crafting courses he bought me for my Cricut, which I had already been using for months. It was non-refundable. I helped the instructor during the course.
The lilies he left out for me before his shift that the cat ate & projectile vomited from the top of the carpeted steps & hitting all of them just to add that special fuck you feeling to the day. All of my kids were suddenly blind & couldn& #39;t stop walking through it.
The time he got me chocolates but ate them all throughout the day & left me one chocolate covered pretzel just to prove me wrong since I had told him days before that he always eats the last of everything.
Two years ago he made me a photo collage for my work desk & a photo mug. When we went to brunch at his mom& #39;s, I saw that he gifted her the exact mug & collage, complete with the "we love you mom" message
When he let me sleep in but the kids were in my face every twenty minutes and my then 4 yo shit in our bathroom & clogged the toilet.
I almost forgot the bath bombs that had surprise glitter that took months to scrub off the tub & gave me weeks of sparkly feet. It was the only time my house actually sparkled.
I almost forgot the teddy bears with my & my daughter& #39;s face on their shirts. I have to literally look myself in the eyes every time I try to get rid of it.
The scavenger hunt he let my daughter create. But she forgot where she hid her alphabetical clues so we& #39;re like "hey, what would you have used for C? Couch? Clock?" It ended with a meltdown & another alphabetical guessing game during which I just said fuck it & started drinking
My requests are always free: let me sleep in, let me enjoy a hot cup of coffee, let me shower peacefully, or give me a few hours to myself. That is all I want.
