thinking about travel/lifestyle influencer jungkook who has the dreamiest insta filled with luxurious resorts, michelin star meals, and sometimes fancy ootds—all of which are funded by none other than milf hobi, who somehow manages to keep him hidden from her husband

i talked about them with @_kattyl yesterday and they haven’t left my brain since

his friends can put two and two together, okay. jk’s just a freelance photographer who barely has any gigs. that couldn’t have possibly paid for the weeklong staycation he had in amankila. they know it’s just impossible.

what they didn’t see coming is how hot his sponsor is.

obviously the first ones to want in are jimin and taehyung. they had their share of fun with hobi and jungkook in a short trip to singapore, desecrating the fullerton’s presidential suite with champagne bubbles and, you know, other bodily fluids.

hobi loves that trip so much that she asks jungkook to bring more friends to their little ‘party’. she would pick them out from jungkook’s insta and have them the next day. or faster.

until one day, hobi points at this picture.

“i want this one, jungkook-ah.”

no. not /him/.

jungkook has been having the biggest, most embarrassing crush on him since forever. he /cannot/ meet the (not so) mysterious benefactor to his ridiculously lavish lifestyle.

on the other hand, he’s never had the courage to ask him out. this could be a good excuse to do so, maybe later down the line? but that is if he survives half the things hobi loves to see him and his friends do. it’s nothing too wild, really, she’s not *that* kinky. but still. +

jungkook is worried about what he would think of him if he crossed this line.

“koo? what do you say?”

“i don’t know. i don’t think he’d be into it.”

“oh? is he your boyfriend, baby?”

/i wish./

“no, mommy.”

“well, i’m sure if you ask nicely, he’ll get onboard. i have business to take care of in helsinki and some free time for you two next week, if he wants.”

he worries his bottom lip between his teeth. it’s so tempting since he’s been wanting to go there for a while.

“i will double—no, triple your allowances for the trip. maybe throw in a birkin for you? which was it that you want, birkin or lindy?”

“birkin. the black one with—“

“silver hardware?”

“yes. that’s the one.”

“well, if you can get me..”

“namjoon.”

“yes, him...it’ll be yours.”

he’s done worse things, right? fucking with another man’s wife, for starters. surely roping namjoon into this in exchange for a bag he wouldn’t even be able to afford otherwise pales in comparison to his list of questionable life choices, no?

at the end of the day: what mommy wants, mommy gets. so it’s settled.

“okay, mommy. i will try.”

“good boy. you have two weeks until the trip.”

jungkook doesn’t text or call namjoon for a week bc how the hell should he bring this up?

/hey, hyung. my hot milf slash sugar momma wants to have a threesome with you and i. we will get paid in a trip to helsinki, and i myself will get an hermes bag just for convincing you./

maybe he’s sent that to the group chat. maybe. he’s not sure, he was so sleepy.

instead of the expected chaos, jungkook wakes up to a single text.

joonie hyung: hermes bag? that’s a steep price. i’m honored.

after five minutes of pep talk with jimin and taehyung on facetime,

(no, you don’t need to confess now, jk. time and place! there will be one for that! great love sometimes comes from great sex!)

jungkook replies: so? are you in?

joonie hyung: i’ll get my passport.