If labour are serious about winning in England again, Keir Starmer must show that he understands the values of this land's working class. Here are some of my ideas of what he should do:

1.) Buy up a street of houses in Rochdale at a low price, renovate them to the bare minimum standard, and rent them out

2.) Go on the True Geordie podcast and talk about how important vibing is

3.) Turn his garage into a gym. Post pictures of his 1RPM, and promote *proper* milk-based protein, to show his respect for the Milkman

4.) Promote Dogecoin

5.) Learn Jiu Jitsu from Sensei Brian Rose, and partake in an amateur competition in the UK's premier destination for local wrestling : Dartford, Kent

Get one of these cars, and overtake anyone going less than 30mph even if it is a country road

7.) Performatively support Millwall

8.) Campaign for a 1 bin policy. There are too many bins, and it is confusing to the every day bloke

9.) Campaign for harder dogs. Too many dogs are
soft, and afraid of mauling their owners- this needs to stop

10.) finally, he must campaign for more foam in pub pints. the social justice left may love liquids, but real men love sitting with their mates, with a mouth full of foam.

11.) bonus- scrap bougie cafes and avocado-latte coffee shops, and eat where *real* british people are

12.) he must start a newsletter filled with recommendations of his favourite domestic tech products and thoughts on the latest Marvel releases. It should be called “The Daily Starmer”