I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution but, when i got there they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you Penaldo
I was on a research mission in Antarctica and suddenly a rare species of dolphins jumped out of the water and shocked all of us. It had spiky hair, 6 pack and was screaming “penalty”. I asked my manager and he said it’s a man named penaldo, he’s just practicing. We quickly left
I had sexual intercourse last week. the girl asked me could I satisfy her with a dildo, when I took out her dildo, it looked like a pen to me, then penaldo came out and f*cked my girlfriend... shame on you pristiano!!
I have studied hard for my final exam, but when I reached the exam centre in the university , I found out I forgot my pen. Luckily I found a generous guy named Pisstiano Penaldo. He said he made a career out of pens and gave me one. Thank you Penaldo
I was doing homework today when I dropped my pen under my bed.I went to go get it when I saw Penaldo hiding under my bed! He said he wanted my pen because he needs pens to stay relevant.I felt bad for him so I gave him the pen. He then went and said SUUUUUIII and left with my pen
it was halloween night and i got a ring at my door i answered and there he was, Penaldo, i asked what he was dressed as and he said “ i’m dressed as a ghost, i’ve made a career out of ghosting “ he then ran in my house and stole my kids pen while he was doing homework
My plan was to wake up today, drink my coffee and write a letter to my university only to realise I couldn’t find my pen. I checked the CCTV footage and saw Penaldo broke into my house and stole the pens. Shame on you Penaldo! I lost all my respect for him…
I was playing FIFA and out of nowhere the game glitched during a penalty shootout. Pisstiano Penaldo appeared out of nowhere, took my pen and skied it. Thanks to him, I'm out of UCL and was sacked in Career Mode. Shame on you Penaldo for getting me sacked
My analysis on Penaldo:
-Pen merchant
-only performs against Crotone
-Ghosts in big games
-Bottler
-Carried by Morata
- Famous words “give me penalty”
- Dives every game
Not top 200 in my book
Recently I was in Turin studying for my masters in law. I was writing notes when suddenly my pen ran out of ink. I searched my bag for a pen but could not find any. I then looked up and saw Penaldo running away after stealing my pens!! Shame on you penaldo !
I was working in a pen shop in Turin. One night I was working the night shift and was very tired. I fell asleep and when I woke up all the pens were stolen. I checked the security footage and I saw Penaldo stealing all the pens. I lost my job because of him. He ruined my career.
Future generations won't forgive us when they will see that the pen merchant penaldo was mentioned in the same sentence as the football god Messi. Penaldo should be arrested and put in jail for being a fraud. We need to protect next generation from being brainwashed by penaldo
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut. We got his EpiPen to help him when all of a sudden, PENALDO appeared because he heard the word PEN. He tried stealing the pen but then I said “no pens for you Penaldo”. He cried and ran away. Shame on you Penaldo
I never understood why people force Penaldo into the debate for top 10? Reasons why:
-Can't dribble.
-Only scores tapins/pens
-Disappears in big games unless Juve get a pen
-diving
-arrogant
-nothing to like about.
I was in math class and we were learning geometry. My teacher said "PENTAGON" then all of a sudden Penaldo burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my education
I was studying in Turin and my professor told me that I couldn’t use a pencil, I had to use a pen. I checked my bag, and all my pens were gone. after looking at the security footage, I saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO had taken all my pens! I was furious. Shame on you Penaldo
I'm a Juventus fan,I was writing a letter to Santa Claus asking for a good striker,when suddenly I heard a noise in the kitchen so I went to check it,when I came back the pen was gone. I started looking for it when I saw the fraud,it was Penaldo. He said he needs pens to survive.
I took a test in school when all of a sudden I realized I forgot my pen! I was scared! A creepy man named Penaldo gave me one. I ended up getting 100%. I wanted to thank him so I went to the Juve vs Porto game but he was nowhere to be seen. I lost my respect for him that day
I was going to work this morning when all of a sudden, Penaldo jumped out of a bush, grabbed my bag, took my pens and stuffed them in his mouth.
As he was about to run away, I asked him "why are you doing this?"
He told me he didn't get any pen against Porto.
Shame on you Penaldo
I went to the zoo to look at the PENguins. When I got there I saw PENALDO stealing ALL of them! He did it because they have PEN in their name and he thought he would get penalties!! I didn't get to see the PENguins and I cried. You should be ashamed Penaldo for ruining my day!!
Was in an audition for the lead role of movie 'Aquaman'. The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream.
I Always wanted to be a footballer, But as soon as I saw penaldo play and get pens and dive like a mermaid I lost interest in the sport! and now I’m deeply depressed and suffer from PTSD Because of him. Shame on you penaldo!
I was in the Bahamas w/ my wife when we decided to go dive in the sea. When I found a diving instructor he said all the sessions were booked. I asked who booked them and he said it was PENDU, the greatest diver ever. Now my wife broke up w me.Shame on you Penaldo
I was smoking blunts with Messi when all of a sudden a fraud appeared. Who would’ve thought it was none other than Mr.Dive lord aka Penaldo.I was too late, he kidnapped Messi and he is forcing him to play in Serie A. Why do you need so many all-stars to win tapinaldo?
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers and gunpoint forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him, shame on you Penaldo!
I was taking swimming lessons when my instructor told me to go dive. When I got to the top, Parma man appeared and pushed me off the ledge and said “I need to dive more to get more pens”. I had to go to the hospital. Shame on you Penaldo!!
I left twitter due to toxicity so I decided to write a novel. I thought of the greatest plot of all time and brought out my pens to write it down. But I couldn't. Pristiano Penaldo came and stole all my pens. He's the reason I'm not the goat author rn. Shame on you Penaldo
I have been an Portuguese citizen my entire life.
And in my 56 years of living, I never witnessed a bigger embarrassment to my country than Cristiano Ronaldo, a narcissist that disappeared in 3 finals and got bailed out all 3. Eusebio Figo or Eder are all levels ahead of penaldo
My only concern with Cristiano Tapinaldo is that kids 10 years from now will look at his stats and think he was an extraordinary player while the reality is that he hardly makes it into the top 10 attackers in world football.
Another disasterclass covered by lucky tap in.
My landlord's rent agreement with me is up and I have to sign a new contract to be able to keep living here, but guess what? I got thrown out anyway, I wasn't able to sign the agreement because I had no pens, I don't know how but somehow Pristiano Penaldo stole all my pens
I was buying groceries when all of a sudden Cristiano Ronaldo pulled up in a bicycle and stole my wallet! I chased him and stopped him and asked him to return the wallet. He said me he was broke because of buying Globe Soccer Awards and UCL referees! I felt bad and let him go
PR7’s playlist:
1. I’m a Fraud
2. How I miss Kroos & Modric
3. Meltdown in WC knockout stage
4. Thank You Rooney
5. Thank You Bale
6. 0 World Cup knockout stage goals
7. 40 year old Pepe owns me
8. Give me Crotone or I retire
9. Take me home (Penalty spot)
A serious discussion is needed on how Cristiano Penaldo changed Juventus from a squad that won Serie A every year and reached UCL finals occasionally into a squad that is fighting for Europa League places and never went beyond the UCL QF since his move. Biggest false image oat.
That’s it that seals the deal. I’m no longer a Penaldo fan. He was my idol and I thought he was the goat. But I realized that he is just a Spiezaman, I’m gonna start idolising Messi, a club hero with deserved Ballon D’ors. Time to finally enjoy greatness.
You can follow @K4iP6.
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