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I had just completed my NYSC in Kaduna, moved back to Lagos and started job hunting.
My friend would set up tests for me at banks, mama and dad’s friends promised to help as well but none of their leads was successful.
I was broke broke, I had become desperate.
My friend would set up tests for me at banks, mama and dad’s friends promised to help as well but none of their leads was successful.
I was broke broke, I had become desperate.
The amount of time I spent praying during that period, I had never and have never prayed that much.
I fasted because there was no food, I also fasted because I was desperate for God to hear me.
One of those fasting days,
I fasted because there was no food, I also fasted because I was desperate for God to hear me.
One of those fasting days,
dad got back home while I was in the kitchen making the last pack of noodles. There was NOTHING else to eat in the house, so we had to share that one pack.
I remember that night so vividly because I went to my room and prayed for 3 hours straight.
I remember that night so vividly because I went to my room and prayed for 3 hours straight.
When I became exhausted and felt like I had no more words, I climbed on my bed but the tears wouldn’t stop. It was just a lot for me, trying so hard but getting nothing. Waking up with hope and going to bed dejected.
Every day I would think up who to call to give me transportation fare to be able to go out to scout for jobs.
My sisters were trying their best but I knew that’s all they could do.
That night, it occurred to me that I hadn’t disturbed one of my mum’s friends much,
My sisters were trying their best but I knew that’s all they could do.
That night, it occurred to me that I hadn’t disturbed one of my mum’s friends much,
so I decided I would go see her and get some money and ask her to hook me up with her network to see if I could get a job.
I was sure my prayers had been answered. So I wiped my tears and succumbed to fatigue.
The next day, I flashed mama’s friend,
I was sure my prayers had been answered. So I wiped my tears and succumbed to fatigue.
The next day, I flashed mama’s friend,
she called me back and I asked to see her. She said I could come to her house that morning.
I rushed to hers, her cook made me breakfast with lots of meat, she also asked that I take some home with me. Then, I told her why I was there to see her.
I rushed to hers, her cook made me breakfast with lots of meat, she also asked that I take some home with me. Then, I told her why I was there to see her.
She said, “Do you want me to tell my son to help you get Visa to the UK and when you get there you’ll go hustle and make some money? They’ll use some other person’s passport for you because as you are now, they won’t give you Visa.”
I told her, “No ma, I don’t want that ma.”
I told her, “No ma, I don’t want that ma.”
“Ahn Ahn. Why? Everyone is doing it.” She was picking her teeth,legs stretched on the couch, not looking at me. Still, the energy of superiority beamed at me from every corner of the house.
“I’ll make it in Nigeria ma. Also, I don’t want to use anyone’s passport.” I said humbly.
“I’ll make it in Nigeria ma. Also, I don’t want to use anyone’s passport.” I said humbly.
“Make it in Nigeria? You?” She put her feet down from the couch, I could see she was impatient with me already. “I doubt o. With the way Nigeria is going, you said you have 2:2, it will be hard o. If you wanted to make it in Nigeria then you should have studied harder.”
Her words pierced my soul, deflated every ounce of hope I woke up with and forced tears into my eyes.
I had to leave, ASAP.
“Thank you ma. I want to go and submit my CV in V/I now. I’d appreciate anything you can give me.” I said, my shaky voice betrayed me but my tears didn’t.
I had to leave, ASAP.
“Thank you ma. I want to go and submit my CV in V/I now. I’d appreciate anything you can give me.” I said, my shaky voice betrayed me but my tears didn’t.
“Ah. Okay. That’s the only way I see for you sha o. Go and think about it.” She searched her bag, gave me some money and asked me not to forget my food.
As I stepped out of her compound, the tears fell and suddenly, I became so tired.
Even though she had given me some money,
As I stepped out of her compound, the tears fell and suddenly, I became so tired.
Even though she had given me some money,
I decided to walk home.
During the walk, I encouraged myself, “Ifedayo Omobola, you will not give up. You’ll make it in life, you will travel abroad with your own passport, you will shock everyone. You’ll succeed. If Nigeria will be good to one person it’ll be you...”
During the walk, I encouraged myself, “Ifedayo Omobola, you will not give up. You’ll make it in life, you will travel abroad with your own passport, you will shock everyone. You’ll succeed. If Nigeria will be good to one person it’ll be you...”
As I write this, I feel the hurt again, the rejection, the way my life was relegated, the way hope was taken away from me.
I try to convince myself that she meant no harm but I know that this woman would never speak to her children the way she condemned me to a life of failure.
I try to convince myself that she meant no harm but I know that this woman would never speak to her children the way she condemned me to a life of failure.
I knew from then that I was alone and whatever I would become in life, would be up to me.
Every day since then, I’ve worked hard to prove her wrong. Every day!
Now I know it’s not healthy to push myself so hard because of a woman who TRULY doesn’t matter to me anymore.
Every day since then, I’ve worked hard to prove her wrong. Every day!
Now I know it’s not healthy to push myself so hard because of a woman who TRULY doesn’t matter to me anymore.
This need to continue to prove myself to her has become a huge burden.
It’s been quite the journey getting here. So at this point, I'm laying that burden down. I no longer derive any sort of feeling from carrying it.
#DANG
It’s been quite the journey getting here. So at this point, I'm laying that burden down. I no longer derive any sort of feeling from carrying it.
#DANG
