I've been 1000% supportive of #TheShyViolet coming out as gender fluid, & using they/them pronouns. I've *rejoiced* over how expressive & free & happy they seem. I've been excited for their growth. I was initially against a name change, but I've changed my mind.
There was 1 thing

...I asked for understanding abt, & that was, "Sometimes I forget, & accidentally misgender you. That is NOT intentional. I WANT to use your pronouns. It's just been 12 years of she/her, & it takes an avg of 28 days to change a habit. You may have known all your life that you

...were a different gender, but I literally just found out. Forgive me in advance when I screw up, & keep reminding me!"

Apparently, that wasn't good enough.
Apparently, a mom w/ ADHD & swiss-cheese lungs who also busts her ass to be supportive of whatever her kids need...

...doesn't get grace or understanding for having a disability that literally affects my memory. I don't get the normal human adjustment time for massive change.

Apparently, in trying to explain why I might SOMETIMES, ACCIDENTALLY use the wrong pronoun, in their eyes, I was .

...justifying my use of wrong pronouns, & not being supportive???

This just hit me the wrong way today. I've been SO HAPPY to find out what the missing link was between Shy Violet & happiness. I have been so excited to get to know this new part of them. And they couldn't give me

...the benefit of the doubt, that actually love them & don't WANT to misgender them. Dammit, I might make mistakes, but I'm 1000% supportive.

This has just come up in too many relationships recently. I'm not allowed to be human, have needs, make mistakes, be overwhelmed, or...

...perform at less than 100%. I'm not allowed to misunderstand someone, or check to see if they misunderstood me. I'm *tired* of tearing myself apart to love other ppl, but not have them be willing to inconvenience themselves for me. Shy Violet is allowed to be pissed,& to hate

...that my disability makes this hard on me. But dammit, even Janet from the Good Place was saying, "Not a Girl™" thru season 4. People make mistakes. People drive to their old houses or jobs, without thinking. People call their kids the other kids name. And ppl take time to...

...adjust to new pronouns because nothing changes overnight. It's not personal, it just takes a little time. I've changed my religion, my career goals, my social life, my body, &my expectations for literally everything, to help meet these kids' needs.i will NOT accept that

...a normal human adjustment period somehow negates that, &I just reached my goddamn limit. Maybe I'm angry & tired & need to eat a Snickers.
Meanwhile, I'm going to get a trans pride flag for the front of the house, & a sticker for the car, & hell, a tattoo on my forehead, if...

...that's what it takes to show them I'm supportive of their gender identity. NONE of that will stop me from occasionally slipping up and saying SHE. IM SORRY. IF I COULD CHANGE IT, I WOULD. But it takes time, & I will do everything I can to speed it up. But the last 40 years...

...have shown 1 self-evident truth: I can't make myself neurotypical, & that sucks for all of us. I love Shy Violet, & I'll love them regardless, but I want the benefit of the doubt. That's all.