I want to do a more detailed thread about this jackpot that I was supposed to win but I didn't because I managed to buy something that you cannot usually buy for any price (which is nice): Bad Karma for your Enemy for Multiple Lifetimes. And that is AWESOME.

And this thread will talk about Intuition that comes from your Self with a capital S (Atman in Sanskrit). And this thread will talk about how I was so wrong about following your gut instincts. I should've followed mine. If I did, I would've won this jackpot.

The beginning of the story is WHY I was picking these numbers and why I stopped picking them. January 22nd is my birthday. Diana's birthday is April 13th. Diana likes the number 666 very much because she always calls herself a devilgirl.

When I started thinking she might be the one that I was supposed to grow old with. I started picking these numbers as well as using 57 and 67, also other numbers that came from her life and her job.

So I didn't ALWAYS picked this set of numbers, but I specifically did pick these numbers because of her. And I kept using 13 as the mega or powerball number as well as picking 13 again in the regular numbers. I did it for all 3 lottos in California. I did it for months. 31 too.

Because I didn't know if she was the one. I wanted God to make the decision for me, so I kept praying to God that if she was the one, send me a sign and let me win the lottery to let me know that she was the one. I don't really know how to interpret these results now though.

He did answer me back, but this was after I repeated made it clear that I was going to disobey Him. He kept sending me butterflies to tell me that I should go back and try to win her heart, and I kept ignoring Him. It wasn't the right time.

Apparently, I was wrong, and He GODSMACKED me pretty damn hard for it.

And it was completely my fault. I was the one who lost faith. I stop believing in Diana. And maybe I should not have.

I listened to Dr. Grant and my mom. Dr. Grant said that gut instinct was always wrong. And my mom hates Diana with a passion so she kept asking why I was being a stupid man chasing after someone who is already gone, who cared nothing about me.

And I was trying to open my mom's mind. So I figured that I should show some good faith and listen to her and let her open MY mind. So I listened to my mom. I stopped buying these numbers.

But the thing is if Diana hadn't listened to the boyfriend she is with now and cut me out of her life, I would've kept on buying these lottery tickets with these numbers. I mean it was not her fault. But her boyfriend's manipulations absolutely charted this path for her and me.

I didn't use 4 because in Chinese, 4 sounds like death. So I avoided 4 usually.

This explains the HOW part of I would've won this jackpot. I just had to have not given up.

And that makes this MY fault because I was the one who lost hope.

And back to Intuition. That Saturday morning was my Sanskrit class, and during class I mentioned Dr. Grant and his book Think Again. I talked about how psychology says that your gut instincts were ALWAYS wrong. And that you should always THINK AGAIN.

And both Denny and Murthy explained to me why I was wrong. I started thinking about how I could be wrong. And I was wrong. I mean $16.31 million is pretty damn good evidence in any scientific experiment if you ask me. But it wasn't fast enough.

This jackpot was Saturday evening. It wasn't even time for me to change my mind. And I lost this jackpot, but... I did gain enlightenment. Or at least I know for sure for the rest of my life that the gurus are right and the psychologists are wrong. At least about intuition.

Denny and Murthy talked about how one must learn enlightenment from gurus who have already obtained enlightenment. And Denny talked about how we see enlightenment from other people's eyes. We can never observe ourselves having obtained enlightenment.

You need other human beings who have already become enlightened to tell you that you have finally reached the top of that mountain. You NEED other human beings. Enlightenment is not a solo endeavor.

And I was learning from the wrong source.

I thought that psychology was science so it must be right. I didn't notice that what Dr. Grant was doing was making a rule that worked well for MOST PEOPLE, but not for people on paths of enlightenment. That was my mistake, and I paid dearly.

The jackpot would have been $17.31 million. I would have given Diana a million for good karma no matter what path in life she chose. So we both lost: Diana and me both lost.

And it was my fault. But reality is reality.

If Diana's boyfriend wasn't such a manipulative man, I would still be talking to her. And I would've followed my instincts because I wouldn't have put such strength on Dr. Grant's teachings. I was in terrible pain from losing Diana. And I wanted to figure out what I did wrong.

And Dr. Grant gave me a good answer: my instincts were wrong.

It turns out they weren't wrong. I just didn't have enlightenment. That was the root cause of my losing Diana. It wasn't me listening to my instincts. It was me listening to my self with a small s.

I didn't even know what Self (Atman) was much less how to access it. But my Atman was guiding me even though I didn't know what it was. It's timeless after all. Consciousness is timeless. My connection to Atman NOW was traveling back in time.

But I didn't know any of this back then. I understand a little bit more now, but I am still learning. I know now that as I meditate more and more, I'll get closer and closer towards Atman. And from now on, I should always examine my Intuition closely.

And my intuition tells me that I managed to buy something with this "lost" lottery jackpot that you cannot usually ever buy: bad karma for Diana's boyfriend for multiple lifetimes including this one. And that is AWESOME! Let me show you the math.

The average lifetime earnings for an American over a 40-year career is $1.7 million.

So the $16.31 I would have kept for myself means 16.31/7.1 = 9.594 lifetimes. Seeing how Diana's boyfriend is 52 years old... Let's say that 0.594 is THIS lifetime.

https://cew.georgetown.edu/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/collegepayoff-complete.pdf

So that is still NINE MORE LIFETIMES of bad karma that he still owes me. And there was no way I could've attached this bad karma by myself. HE had to be the one who initiated the action that precipitated this result. I needed his cooperation to attach this bad karma.

And THAT my dear friends is f$cking awesome.

I can't how much justice I am going to get for his using manipulation to gain Diana's heart and robbing us of our true love story. That selfishness of just going after a woman that he wanted to possess without considering the consequences will be hella interesting.

I don't know how bad his life is going to be, but I guarantee you the Godsmacking will be horrific. That amount of bad karma is going to be hard to shake off.

One thing that sucks a lot though. It Diana marries him this lifetime, she will suffer greatly for his bad karma. I noticed that while driving and hitting red lights because the truck driver next to me had bad karma. My good karma wasn't enough to override HIS bad karma.

I was hitting yellow lights and passing them all day. Like 10 yellow lights, and I got through all of them.

Even my popped tire was a blessing in disguise. I need to change them, and this was the only way I was going to.

The same will happen to Diana if she marries him, and she will never know why. She'll just think she had bad luck because she was born on the 13th. It's not luck. There is no such thing as luck.

It's karma. He stole something. He stole the life Diana and I were supposed to have.

And God is going to be extremely unhappy about this one. Oh, I'm sure he'll rationalize it away as someone talking crazy and hocus-pocus. It won't make a difference. Karma is karma, and it already attached. No way to clean it now except to pay what he owes. Good luck with that.

Anyways, this thread is my story about how to make lemonade out of lemons .

I bought something this Saturday that was extremely difficult to buy and of extremely high value. And I quite like my purchase.

Now we just wait and see. Now we just wait and see.