Okay so it’s deaf awareness week! I’m going to do a very short thread of things to do or not do when talking to me, a deaf person

1- Do look at me/face me. I find it harder to understand someone who is talking but not looking at me, even if we’re alone

2- Do not shout, it stresses me out. I can’t hear it but I know you’re shouting. Why are you shouting? I will shout back at you or walk away lol. Louder voice is NOT equal to easier comprehension. I literally CANNOT hear you

3- Do not stand too close to me. It’s harder to read lips when you’re too far/too close. Just stand /sit normally, you don’t have to bring your face next to mime

4- Do NOT, repeat NOTTTT whisper in my ears. Like shouting, I still will not hear you and it’s extremely hair raising to me. I say it sometimes but my automatic reflex at ANYONE trying to whisper in my ear is hitting/shoving them or at the very least looking extremely annoyed

5- Do not make any sudden/loud noises in my presence if you can help it. It’s frightening. I react in the same manner a baby does when they hear something loud and strange

6- Do not creep up behind me to “surprise me”. ABSOLUTELY never ever put your hands over my eyes in an attempt to make me guess who it is. I will cry and I promise you’ll physically feel me shaking. Only my brother Kabba can safely do this. No one else.

7- Do not mime when you’re talking to me. This is not a pantomime show. Less gestures makes it easier for me to concentrate on lip reading, ehich is my only means of understanding your verbal speech

8- Do feel comfortable to type on your phone/write on a book if i am struggling too much to understand your verbal speech, it’s totally fine

9- sometimes it’s really frustrating to talk to me. You don’t have to let out your frustration on ME, I assure you it’s much more frustrating TRYING to comprehend someone and also feeling bad that I can’t. You don’t have to huff “hehhh chapanzz” etc lmaooo

10- When we’re conversing with other people, don’t ask me why I’m not talking. It’s harder for me to comprehend several people talking at once. And i hate conversations slowing down cos of me. Feel free to repeat to me what is being said but don’t feel bad that I’m not joining in

11- when we’re together and a stranger approaches us, sometimes I don’t register what they say so they think I’m rude or ignoring them. It’s okay for you to tell them that I’m deaf, I don’t mind. It saves me the trouble of doing it myself or the person taking offense falewumako

12- I know we in a panoramic and all, but I cannot hear or lipread anything you say behind a mask. Again it’s okay to type on your phone

13- I make a lot of deaf jokes at MY own expense. It is not an invitation for you to make the same jokes about other deaf people.

Deaf people are not a monolith. We have different experiences, different reactions, different ways of communicating. It’s okay to not initially know how to communicate with us. No harm in asking and trying

Be empathetic. We are normal people with less privileges than you because of something we have no control over.

Also, deaf is not an insult. Over the years I’ve had many people use it as one, or as a comeback “lii motakh doh de dega tedu” as if it’s a punishment for whatever I just said/did

I’m going to end this by saying I’m extremely extremely proud of myself, my ability to adapt, to learn to teach. It’s a tough ride but there are rays of sunshine all the time. Sending all my love to every single person dealing with deafness and disability