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Much has been said about @JReubenCIark's iconic (and very true) thread counseling overweight women to lose the extra baggage. It has had me thinking about my own experiences as a son and a father and drawn me to the same conclusion for us men. https://twitter.com/JReubenCIark/status/1254510486986428417
So, to the men of #deznat and the church I say, if you are overweight or not in shape physically, you are not being a good enough father and husband and you must do better. I know very personally what I am talking about here.
You are not being the father your children deserve, and you are not being the husband your wife deserves. Repent and improve.
We have seen our Prophet lead by example on this. And the rest of our Apostolic leaders are following. We can see that @HollandJeffreyR, @Ulisses__Soares, and @DaleGRenlund have all found the time and energy to prioritize making these improvements. We must as well.
My father was never what anybody would call obese, but his lack of physical stamina was a detriment to my childhood and teenage years. I have no memories of any physical activities with him.
We never went into the backyard and passed a football around, or to the driveway to shoot hoops. I grew up less than a mile from the beach and yet there is no memory of him ever being there.
Never once have I been camping with my dad. Whenever there was a scout camp or high adventure, I knew it was a non-starter. He would not and could not come. And I did not realize it at the time, but looking back, that really sucked. I deserved much more.
While his problems go much further being in terrible physical shape, I must imagine that it played a role in his divorce from my mother.
I am sure it is no coincidence that my stepfather is one of the most in-shape people I have ever known and, even well into his 60’s, he could out-endure much younger men in their prime (myself very much included)
The reality of this problem hit me very personally as a young father. When I was in graduate school, I stopped taking care of my self physically. One evening my then-three-year-old daughter asked me to join her playing on the floor with her dolls.
In the most personally embarrassing and heart-breaking moment of my life, I had to say no because I was too exhausted from my day to get down on the floor.
Even though nobody witnessed the interaction (besides my daughter who did not give it a second thought and went back to her playing) I was humiliated.
All this time later and I have still been far from perfect physical shape since then. But I resolved then and there to get into shape so I would never again have to say no to one of my kids because I was too physically weak.
And at times it is extremely difficult, but it is *absolutely* necessary and very much worth it. I know there are men with real physical restrictions that make losing weight as well as improving physical stamina and endurance impossible. This thread is not for them.
However, do not let uncontrollable physical limitations prevent any improvement. I think of President Packer, who struggled all his life with the effects of polio and was still in top physical shape well into his life.
This thread is for the many fathers, who I know are out there, that can and must do better. Particularly those who need to lose weight.
Think about it this way; you cannot take your kids to the beach and give them the experience they deserve if you are obese. You cannot take care of the physical needs of a home if you are too tired after work and on the weekends.
Not to be crass, but you cannot “perform” as a husband the way your wife deserves and that very important part of marriage will be lacking.
You may be able to mentally Preside, and you may even Provide for your family financially. But you are not in as good a position to do either and certainly not to Protect should the need be there. Hell, you can’t even walk around Disneyland for several days for your kids.
Eat better. Instead of the burger for lunch, take a salad. Instead of the usual weekend nap, go to the park or go walk your neighborhood. Turn off the TV, put down the video game remote, and hand your phone to your wife. These distractions are not what you need.
And to any single brethren or those who do not have children yet, let me counsel you, get in shape now. It does not get easier when life gets busier. Stop playing video games and wasting time on lesser pursuits. This is more important.
Your sons deserve a father who will play ball with them or take them on the young men’s campout. Your daughters deserve a father who will get on the floor and play with their dolls with them.
Do not be the dad whose son looks back on what he wishes had been. DO NOT be a father who will live with regret. Do not deprive your wife and children of what they deserve because you will not do what is needed to lose weight and get into decent physical shape.
