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I Lost The Love of My Life in a Moment of Madness, Now My World is Empty
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She was my best friend, my succor, she was my life! This beautiful relationship of about 7 months had flourished so beautifully, we faced and conquered all odds, we waxed so strong together that I wondered why I just got to know her about a year ago (started dating 7 months ago).
Everyday when I get to work we would talk for about one hour before I step into the office and we& #39;d talk for about two hours before retiring to bed everyday.
Please don& #39;t ask me what we get to talk about everyday for that long because even I often wonder how we got so glued to each other that we hardly wanted to end our calls each time.
The age gap between us was just perfect and every other detail blended so perfectly that I was so sure she was the one I& #39;ve been waiting for all my life. Gradually, I discarded all competition and decided to give this one my all.
The reason is very obvious - the connection was simply incredible! She is God fearing, very homely, meek and has an interesting personality. She had her flaws too but who on earth doesn& #39;t?
Just two months ago I decided to take things a little further, secretly planned an engagement activity a day to her birthday with a renowned florist and a few of my friends. It was so lovely she almost fainted as I inserted my gold ring into her finger and popped the question..
The answer was a resounding Yes Yes Yes!!! The rest was merriment as we popped champagne and made toasts to a wonderful future ahead of us.
Right there and then we began making plans concerning our introduction, traditional marriage ceremony and ultimately, white wedding. She was aghast with joy as she spread the news around to all her friends and instantly updated her Face Book status to "Engaged".
Congratulatory messages were pouring from all corners while she took her time to respond to everyone of them.. She was so happy and so was I.
My circle of friends were so proud of me for taking the bold step as they called me one after the other telling me how they cherished my boldness and wanted to be like me.
The joy and ecstasy throughout this period knew no bounds as I made important efforts to begin marriage proceedings. We finally agreed to Easter next year for white wedding.
I went to meet with her father last month to get the traditional "list" of items to be procured for the introduction and traditional marriage ceremony.
I was instantly & #39;approved& #39; by her good looking and very gentle father who encouraged me and promised to support us in any way he could.
Afterwards, I proceeded to meet with her pastor who after a brief interview approved of our relationship and only requested that we conduct a medical test (HIV, Hepatitis and Genotype) at the church hospital and present the results to him so he can forward same to their branch…
…in Lagos where we intend to wed. We proceeded almost after the interview to the said hospital where we carried out the tests...and this was where our problems started!!!
How could I have been as & #39;AS& #39; all these while and I didn& #39;t know?! My birth file has & #39;AA& #39; on it, all the genotype tests I ever conducted during childhood and school days all turned out to be & #39;AA& #39;. How come it has suddenly changed? Do people& #39;s genotype change?
Did the hospitals back in the days make mistakes even the school hospital as well? What was going on? I queried rhetorically.
My fiancee& #39;s genotype was & #39;AS& #39; and she had told me this from the beginning while I on the other hand was so sure of my & #39;AA& #39; genotype status that I didn& #39;t even bother to talk about it again. After this shocker I proceeded immediately to Lagos as I had reasons to doubt the result.
I conducted 3 labs tests in total (in Lagos too) and the result came out the same. I was devastated!!
So devastated I wept like a baby even in the presence of my friend who accompanied me and a few people around me noticed I was wailing uncontrollably. It was a memory I hope will erase with time as the mere thought of it makes me want to cry again.
My fiancee already started weeping from the time the first test was conducted. She wept through it all so badly that I couldn& #39;t really recognize her the last time I saw her - She had lost so much weight that I was even scared of telling her!
From that moment, pressure increased on her part and frustration grew from mine. I grew so bitter I didn& #39;t know how to get help.
We kept in touch, believing in God and Miracles (she inspires me too) while I also asked a few Medical practitioners to tell me what medicine has for people like us in 2013. All the answers were either against our faith or very expensive.
In the midst of all these she stuck to me and I told her everything will be fine. Both my parents and hers felt so much for us that they promised to stand by whatever decision we decide to take.
Although I got a few advices asking me to let her go, letting her out of my sight was simply not in my agenda - I strongly believed these tribulations was a matter of time and we would pull through somehow.
Then on Friday (6th Dec) she came visiting so we can discuss more on the way forward. What she didn& #39;t realize was that the frustration in me was growing so bad that it was affecting my sanity.
I needed help but I didn& #39;t know how to get it - I always kept a cool face but knew I was boiling with depression inside. We hung out on the same day she came, watched a movie on return and retired to bed.
The next day we had a huge misunderstanding. The quarrel was so bad I slapped her thrice and held her neck for a while. Within those few seconds of madness I uttered very insulting words and even demanded for my ring! At that point I looked at myself and knew I had lost it!
In the last 15 years of active dating I never laid my hand on any woman - how could I have done this to the only woman I was supposed to love and care for? The only one who got to wear my ring?! It didn& #39;t make sense to me.
I tried to maintain a straight face even while I begged her intensely but that wouldn& #39;t change her stance. Reported myself to my mum (whom she knows well), and told a married friend what I had done. He rushed over to the apartment and tried to talk with her.
The events of that day and the next did not help matters, she got so cold towards me and wouldn& #39;t stop crying. Her mum is already late and I felt so bad for doing this to a poor girl who gave me her heart when I should have been acting out my undying love towards her.
I am not really good with handling an already bad situation and many times I simply seek help on how to go about it.
She grew even colder towards me and while still pleading for mercy, I would use words that she still found to be unpleasant. Finally at 2:30pm (Sunday) she packed her things and left my house to an unknown destination
I didn& #39;t seem to get anything right throughout this time of pleading - it appeared I made things even worse.
Please learn from my story... an edifice that took a year to build can be destroyed totally in just 5 minutes! In Warren Buffet& #39;s words - "It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you& #39;ll do things differently."
Never in my entire adult life have I ever thought of or come close to hitting a lady. If you tell me I had that tendency I would argue with you because I detest men who do same.
But this experience has just taught me that we can& #39;t afford to be languid.. Doing the right thing means making conscious efforts to do them and having back out plans whenever we are tempted to do otherwise.
Another option is to stay away from loved ones when we are not okay mentally or psychologically. You could seek help during such periods from counselors and professionals who can walk you through it all. Sometimes you just can& #39;t be careful enough..
Do the needful while there& #39;s still time.
At the moment I can only cry and pray to God for assistance and intervention. I know my chances with her are pretty slim but I have no idea what tomorrow would bring.
At the moment I can only cry and pray to God for assistance and intervention. I know my chances with her are pretty slim but I have no idea what tomorrow would bring.
Thanks for reading my story and hopefully you learnt something from it.
Cheers.
Cheers.
This thread can be read here: https://tiktalkhub.com/i-lost-the-love-of-my-life-in-a-moment-of-madness-now-my-world-is-empty/06/05/2021/">https://tiktalkhub.com/i-lost-th...
