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*shakey phone camera*
Kami: Bakubro, we're here! Let's gooo!
Baku: For fucks sake! Get that shit out of my face!
Kami: No! I need to document this momentous occasion! You never go out with us!
Baku: You're doing a very good job at reminding me why that is...
Kami: Bakubro, we're here! Let's gooo!
Baku: For fucks sake! Get that shit out of my face!
Kami: No! I need to document this momentous occasion! You never go out with us!
Baku: You're doing a very good job at reminding me why that is...
Deku: *out of the picture* Kacchan! Help me with my pants!
Kami: Ohhhhh? Are we interrupting something?
Baku: *gives Kami a blank look* No. He literally needs help to get into his pants. He’s built like a brick house but in his mind, he's still tiny. It's fucking ridiculous.
Kami: Ohhhhh? Are we interrupting something?
Baku: *gives Kami a blank look* No. He literally needs help to get into his pants. He’s built like a brick house but in his mind, he's still tiny. It's fucking ridiculous.
Kami: ...
Baku: ...
Kami: ... you're humoring him because his ass looks great in those too-tight pants, right?
Baku: Fuck off!!! *stalks off to help Deku*
*phone camera stealthily creeps around the door*
Kiri: *whispers* No, bro, don't do it!
Kami: *whispers* I gotta!
Baku: ...
Kami: ... you're humoring him because his ass looks great in those too-tight pants, right?
Baku: Fuck off!!! *stalks off to help Deku*
*phone camera stealthily creeps around the door*
Kiri: *whispers* No, bro, don't do it!
Kami: *whispers* I gotta!
Baku: See? This is what fucking happens when you eat too much Katsudon!
Deku: Kacchan! Don't be mean! I'm not fat!
Baku: Never said you were, but you're no dainty elf either. No suck in that gut and clench your ass cheeks!
Deku: It doesn't fit!
Deku: Kacchan! Don't be mean! I'm not fat!
Baku: Never said you were, but you're no dainty elf either. No suck in that gut and clench your ass cheeks!
Deku: It doesn't fit!
Baku: We're gonna make it fucking fit! Jump!
*camera captures Deku jumping up and down and Baku pulling his tight pants up*
Baku: You're not allowed to bend over or people are really going to see why you're Japan's ass.
*camera captures Deku jumping up and down and Baku pulling his tight pants up*
Baku: You're not allowed to bend over or people are really going to see why you're Japan's ass.
Deku: *giggles* Thanks, Kacchan!
Baku: Whatever... *turns around* Oi, Sparky, are you filming this?!
Kami: Abort mission, abort!
Baku: Get back here you-
*camera cuts off*
TBC!
Baku: Whatever... *turns around* Oi, Sparky, are you filming this?!
Kami: Abort mission, abort!
Baku: Get back here you-
*camera cuts off*
TBC!
*shakey phone camera*
*all-around bad lighting and loud music*
*you can still hear Baku yelling*
Baku: God damn it, Deku! That's not the bar that's a beer pong table!
Deku: But other people were taking drinks from there too?
Baku: Because they were playing, you fucking idiot!
*all-around bad lighting and loud music*
*you can still hear Baku yelling*
Baku: God damn it, Deku! That's not the bar that's a beer pong table!
Deku: But other people were taking drinks from there too?
Baku: Because they were playing, you fucking idiot!
Kiri: And so it begins.
Kami: The real reason Bakugou never goes out with us.
Kiri: Light-weight Midoriya is at it again. I don't understand how his tolerance is so low even though he has so many muscles.
Baku: Deku! Get the fuck down from there!
Kami: The real reason Bakugou never goes out with us.
Kiri: Light-weight Midoriya is at it again. I don't understand how his tolerance is so low even though he has so many muscles.
Baku: Deku! Get the fuck down from there!
*camera swings around and catches Deku dancing on top of the bar with Mina*
Deku: Kacchan! Come dance with me!
Baku: Over my dead body! Now get down there before it's over YOUR dead body!
Kiri: Aww, let him have his fun Bakubro!
Deku: Kacchan! Come dance with me!
Baku: Over my dead body! Now get down there before it's over YOUR dead body!
Kiri: Aww, let him have his fun Bakubro!
Baku: No! Knowing him he's going to fall and break his fucking neck!
Kami: So it has nothing to do with the leering crowd staring at your boyfriend's ass?
Kami: So it has nothing to do with the leering crowd staring at your boyfriend's ass?
Baku: Who's staring? *points at a guy next to them* You, fucking extra! Eyes away from my boyfriend's ass or I'm going to remove them!
Kami: This is the best thing ever.
Baku: Stop filming, you little-!
*camera cuts off*
TBC!
Kami: This is the best thing ever.
Baku: Stop filming, you little-!
*camera cuts off*
TBC!
Part 3!
*shakey camera*
*loud music, but you can see bathroom stalls*
Kami: Bakubro? Did you find Midoriya?
Baku: Yeah.
*camera picks up Baku standing over a crying Deku, sitting on the floor and clutching his phone*
Kami: Oh shit, everything all right?
*loud music, but you can see bathroom stalls*
Kami: Bakubro? Did you find Midoriya?
Baku: Yeah.
*camera picks up Baku standing over a crying Deku, sitting on the floor and clutching his phone*
Kami: Oh shit, everything all right?
Baku: Yes. The shitty nerd is just acting like an idiot.
Deku: *hiccups* Kacchan! I can't help it!
Baku: This is all frog girl’s fault!
Kami: Asui’s? How?
Baku: *gestures for Deku to show Kami his phone*
Deku: *hiccups* Kacchan! I can't help it!
Baku: This is all frog girl’s fault!
Kami: Asui’s? How?
Baku: *gestures for Deku to show Kami his phone*
*on the phone there is a photo of a frog wearing a top hat*
Deku: *wails* It's so cuuuteee!
Baku: *sighs* You're lucky that I love you or I would drown you in the sink right here.
Deku: Kacchan? You love me?
Deku: *wails* It's so cuuuteee!
Baku: *sighs* You're lucky that I love you or I would drown you in the sink right here.
Deku: Kacchan? You love me?
Baku: I'm your fucking boyfriend, of course, I love you! Now get up off the floor!
Deku: Kacchan! *Deku jumps up and wraps his arms around Baku*
Deku: Kacchan! *Deku jumps up and wraps his arms around Baku*
Kami: Ahhh, true love! Just like in every romance novel! I just wasn't expecting all these dirty toilets.
Baku: I'm going to fucking end you.
Kami: And that's my cue to go!
*camera cuts off*
TBC!
Baku: I'm going to fucking end you.
Kami: And that's my cue to go!
*camera cuts off*
TBC!
Part 4!
Kami: You lost Midoriya? Wasn't he just hugging you in the bathroom?
Baku: I took my eyes off him for a second and he was gone!
Mina: I bet this is what it's like to have a toddler.
Kiri: Wait, I think I saw him over there by the TV.
Baku: I took my eyes off him for a second and he was gone!
Mina: I bet this is what it's like to have a toddler.
Kiri: Wait, I think I saw him over there by the TV.
Kami: Why is there a TV? Dude, no way, they have Mario Cart in here? What kind of club is this?!
Mina: Wait till you see the ball pool.
Kami: Seriously?!
Kiri: Midobro! Are you playing Mario Cart?
Mina: Wait till you see the ball pool.
Kami: Seriously?!
Kiri: Midobro! Are you playing Mario Cart?
Baku: Of course he is, Shitty Hair! The important question is, Deku, are you wiping the floor with these losers?!
Deku: Can't talk. Need to concentrate!
Kami: You go, Midoriya!
Mina: Watch out, they have a blue shell!
Deku: Can't talk. Need to concentrate!
Kami: You go, Midoriya!
Mina: Watch out, they have a blue shell!
Baku: Oh hell no! Deku, you better not lose this race, or else I'm going to beat your ass!
Kiri: Watch the banana peel! The peel!
Kami: Deku, number one hero and number one at Mario Cart!
Baku: No fucking way! Oi, extra! Gimme that! *grabs the controller from someone else*
Kiri: Watch the banana peel! The peel!
Kami: Deku, number one hero and number one at Mario Cart!
Baku: No fucking way! Oi, extra! Gimme that! *grabs the controller from someone else*
Baku: Time to show Deku who's boss!
Deku: Bring it, Kacchan!
Kiri: Is this a good idea?
Mina: This is the best idea!
Sero: I'll be taking bets on the winner!
Kami: Dude! Where were you?
Sero: Doing shots with Roki over by the ball pool.
Baku: Did you just drop a red shell on me?
Deku: Bring it, Kacchan!
Kiri: Is this a good idea?
Mina: This is the best idea!
Sero: I'll be taking bets on the winner!
Kami: Dude! Where were you?
Sero: Doing shots with Roki over by the ball pool.
Baku: Did you just drop a red shell on me?
Deku: And what if I did?
Baku: This relationship is over! I'm going to divorce you!
Deku: *gasp* Kacchan! No!
Baku: You fucking-! Stop it with the red shells!
*camera cuts off*
TBC!
Baku: This relationship is over! I'm going to divorce you!
Deku: *gasp* Kacchan! No!
Baku: You fucking-! Stop it with the red shells!
*camera cuts off*
TBC!
Part 5!
Baku: Deku, don't you dare!
Kami: What happened?! What did I miss?!
Sero: Midoriya found the ball pool!
*camera focuses in on Baku trying to hold back Deku*
*Deku slips away and dives headfirst into the pool*
*Mina and Ochako are already in it and are cheering*
Kami: What happened?! What did I miss?!
Sero: Midoriya found the ball pool!
*camera focuses in on Baku trying to hold back Deku*
*Deku slips away and dives headfirst into the pool*
*Mina and Ochako are already in it and are cheering*
Baku: For fucks sake! I can never take you anywhere!
Kiri: Aww, lighten up Bakubro!
Baku: I'm going to explode your face.
Kiri: Well, if I'm going to die anyway...
Baku: You wouldn't dare.
Kiri: I absolutely would.
*Kiri grabs Baku around the waist and jumps*
Kiri: Aww, lighten up Bakubro!
Baku: I'm going to explode your face.
Kiri: Well, if I'm going to die anyway...
Baku: You wouldn't dare.
Kiri: I absolutely would.
*Kiri grabs Baku around the waist and jumps*
*loud yelling and cursing, balls flying everywhere*
*a few small explosions are going off*
Kami: One minute of silence for the bravest of them all. He died the way he lived, surrounded by balls.
Sero: Your turn.
Kami: What-?
*camera flies through the air before turning off*
TBC!
*a few small explosions are going off*
Kami: One minute of silence for the bravest of them all. He died the way he lived, surrounded by balls.
Sero: Your turn.
Kami: What-?
*camera flies through the air before turning off*
TBC!
Part 6!
*loud club music and bad lighting*
Kami: Midoriya's paying for a round of shots!
*camera focuses on Deku standing at the bar and sliding money over the counter*
Deku: You can keep the rest!
Bartender: I'm sorry, that's not enough money...
Kami: Midoriya's paying for a round of shots!
*camera focuses on Deku standing at the bar and sliding money over the counter*
Deku: You can keep the rest!
Bartender: I'm sorry, that's not enough money...
Baku: For fucks sake, nerd! If you're that wasted already you should drink water instead of doing shots!
Deku: Wait! Here's the rest! *he pulls out his wallet and starts pulling out 100 Yen coins*
Baku: No! Take back your change you fucking disgrace!
Deku: Wait! Here's the rest! *he pulls out his wallet and starts pulling out 100 Yen coins*
Baku: No! Take back your change you fucking disgrace!
*camera captures Baku putting his arm around Deku to pull him away from the bar while sliding over the rest of the money*
Deku: But Kacchan! I can pay for my own alcohol!
Baku: Tonight your not. I'm covering your bill from now on.
Kiri: Sweet! Bakugou's paying for our drinks!
Deku: But Kacchan! I can pay for my own alcohol!
Baku: Tonight your not. I'm covering your bill from now on.
Kiri: Sweet! Bakugou's paying for our drinks!
Baku: Hell no! You idiots can pay on your own!
Kami: I want those boyfriend privileges too...
Deku: No! Only I can be Kacchan's boyfriend!
Baku: Deku! You're choking me!
Kami: *whispers* Let's grab the shots while they're distracted.
Sero: Way ahead of you.
TBC!
Kami: I want those boyfriend privileges too...
Deku: No! Only I can be Kacchan's boyfriend!
Baku: Deku! You're choking me!
Kami: *whispers* Let's grab the shots while they're distracted.
Sero: Way ahead of you.
TBC!
*loud party music, bad lighting, and screaming people*
Kami: What's going on? What's going on?!
Kiri: They're having a push-up competition in the middle of the dance floor!
Kami: What's going on? What's going on?!
Kiri: They're having a push-up competition in the middle of the dance floor!
*camera swings around towards the middle of the crowd where several people are doing push-ups with solo cups balanced on their backs*
Kami: How did that happen?!
Sero: Someone dared Midoriya to do it.
Kami: Where Bakugou? I'm kind of surprised he isn't here.
Kiri: He's too busy.
Kami: How did that happen?!
Sero: Someone dared Midoriya to do it.
Kami: Where Bakugou? I'm kind of surprised he isn't here.
Kiri: He's too busy.
*camera follows Kiri's pointed finger*
*Baku stands next to Deku and cheers him on*
Baku: COME ON, DEKU! GO! GO! DON'T LOSE TO THIS- TO THIS FUCKING EXTRA! COME ON BABY!
*camera focuses in on the last two contestants*
*the solo cup of Deku's opponent falls over*
*Baku stands next to Deku and cheers him on*
Baku: COME ON, DEKU! GO! GO! DON'T LOSE TO THIS- TO THIS FUCKING EXTRA! COME ON BABY!
*camera focuses in on the last two contestants*
*the solo cup of Deku's opponent falls over*
*the crowd goes wild*
Baku: HELL YEAH! THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!!!
*Baku picks up Deku and kisses him hard before hoisting him up in the air*
*Kiri runs over to help*
*the crowd starts chanting*
Crowd: Deku! Deku! Deku!
Kami. This is the best night ever!
*camera shuts off*
TBC!
Baku: HELL YEAH! THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!!!
*Baku picks up Deku and kisses him hard before hoisting him up in the air*
*Kiri runs over to help*
*the crowd starts chanting*
Crowd: Deku! Deku! Deku!
Kami. This is the best night ever!
*camera shuts off*
TBC!
Part 8!
*camera turn on*
*a dark hallway and hushed whispers*
Baku: *loud whispers* Be quiet! I don't need another noise complaint from the neighbors just because you idiots walked face-first into walls and doors!
*a dark hallway and hushed whispers*
Baku: *loud whispers* Be quiet! I don't need another noise complaint from the neighbors just because you idiots walked face-first into walls and doors!
Deku: *getting a piggyback ride from Baku* But Kacchan, most of those noise complaints are because you're yelling.
Baku: Keep this up you little shit and I'm going to drop you without remorse!
Deku: I can walk on my own! You just want to grope my ass!
Baku: And so what if I do?
Baku: Keep this up you little shit and I'm going to drop you without remorse!
Deku: I can walk on my own! You just want to grope my ass!
Baku: And so what if I do?
*camera captures Baku grabbing DekU's ass and Deku squeaking*
Sero: *sighs* Good thing I took their keys a while ago...
Baku: What the fuck, Tape Face?
*the group makes their way into the apartment*
*Deku slides from Baku's back and goes straight into the kitchen*
Sero: *sighs* Good thing I took their keys a while ago...
Baku: What the fuck, Tape Face?
*the group makes their way into the apartment*
*Deku slides from Baku's back and goes straight into the kitchen*
Baku: What do you think you're doing?
Deku: I'm hungry!
Baku: You are not eating chips in our bed again!
Kami: Again?
Baku: Shut up!
Kiri: You're so whipped, it's cute bro! It's manly to be so in love!
Baku: I swear to fucking god, I'm throwing you out of the window!
Deku: I'm hungry!
Baku: You are not eating chips in our bed again!
Kami: Again?
Baku: Shut up!
Kiri: You're so whipped, it's cute bro! It's manly to be so in love!
Baku: I swear to fucking god, I'm throwing you out of the window!
*in the background of their conversation Deku waves at the camera and slips into the bedroom, a bag of chips clutched in his hands*
Baku: Now all of you, shut it! You know the drill. Couch, guest futons, no noise, or I'll kill you!
*he walks into the bedroom*
Baku: Now all of you, shut it! You know the drill. Couch, guest futons, no noise, or I'll kill you!
*he walks into the bedroom*
Kiri: Let's get to sleep.
Kami: Wait for it...
Baku: FOR FUCKS SAKE!
*Sero, Kiri, and Kami start laughing*
*camera shuts off*
TBC!
Kami: Wait for it...
Baku: FOR FUCKS SAKE!
*Sero, Kiri, and Kami start laughing*
*camera shuts off*
TBC!
Part 9!
*early morning light*
*the camera slowly inches over the back of the couch*
*You can see BkDk standing in the kitchen*
*Deku has his arms wrapped around Baku and is leaning against his back*
*the scene is broken by a low grumble*
Deku: Kacchan, I'm hungry.
*the camera slowly inches over the back of the couch*
*You can see BkDk standing in the kitchen*
*Deku has his arms wrapped around Baku and is leaning against his back*
*the scene is broken by a low grumble*
Deku: Kacchan, I'm hungry.
Baku: I'm already making breakfast. You need to wait.
Deku: *pouts* But I'm hungry now. I'm hungover and need food.
Baku: Well, tough shit.
*he reaches a hand up and ruffles it gently through green curls*
*Deku giggles before sighing*
Deku: *pouts* But I'm hungry now. I'm hungover and need food.
Baku: Well, tough shit.
*he reaches a hand up and ruffles it gently through green curls*
*Deku giggles before sighing*
*they stand in silence for a few moments before Deku starts humming and swaying in place*
*Baku allows it*
Kami: *whispers* This shit is so fucking cute, I'm going to die...
*Baku allows it*
Kami: *whispers* This shit is so fucking cute, I'm going to die...
Baku: *without looking at him* Oh, you're going to die alright.
*camera slowly retreats behind the couch again before cutting off*
TBC!
*camera slowly retreats behind the couch again before cutting off*
TBC!
Part 10!
*camera turns on*
Kami: Okay, I'm filming. Now please explain why am I filming?
Baku: I need a witness and we need to document this.
Kami: I have no idea what's going on and I am scared.
Baku: Good. Deku!
*Deku comes out of the other room*
Kami: Okay, I'm filming. Now please explain why am I filming?
Baku: I need a witness and we need to document this.
Kami: I have no idea what's going on and I am scared.
Baku: Good. Deku!
*Deku comes out of the other room*
Deku: Oh! Hi Kaminari, I didn't know you were coming over today.
Kami: That makes two of us.
Baku: Deku. Do you remember what you asked me this morning?
*Deku blushes a bit*
Deku: Y-Yes?
Baku: Tell him.
Deku: I asked Kacchan to help me lose some weight...
Kami: Why?
Kami: That makes two of us.
Baku: Deku. Do you remember what you asked me this morning?
*Deku blushes a bit*
Deku: Y-Yes?
Baku: Tell him.
Deku: I asked Kacchan to help me lose some weight...
Kami: Why?
Deku: Because I feel I've gotten fat...
Baku: That's muscle, you idiot!
Deku: But Kacchan! My abs aren't as flat as they used to be!
Baku: You're still hot as shit!
Deku: But what if I gain even more weight?
Baku: Then I'll still think so! I love you, you moron!
Baku: That's muscle, you idiot!
Deku: But Kacchan! My abs aren't as flat as they used to be!
Baku: You're still hot as shit!
Deku: But what if I gain even more weight?
Baku: Then I'll still think so! I love you, you moron!
Deku: *tearing up* Kacchan...
Kami: As sweet as this scene is, why am I here?
Baku: I don't care what Deku looks like, but if he wants to lose some weight I'll help him. But he has to do everything I'll say and he can't complain about my methods.
Kami: As sweet as this scene is, why am I here?
Baku: I don't care what Deku looks like, but if he wants to lose some weight I'll help him. But he has to do everything I'll say and he can't complain about my methods.
Kami: Shit, Midoriya, are you sure you know what you're getting into?
Deku: Yes!
Baku: Good! Then the deal is sealed! We have a witness and everything on camera.
*he stands up and goes into the kitchen*
Baku: Time to throw away all of your snacks.
Deku: Kacchan! No!
TBC!
Deku: Yes!
Baku: Good! Then the deal is sealed! We have a witness and everything on camera.
*he stands up and goes into the kitchen*
Baku: Time to throw away all of your snacks.
Deku: Kacchan! No!
TBC!
