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The kink community has a reputation for being open-minded* And it's good to be open to the idea of new experiences.
But you should *never* feel pressured to try something you don't want to, whether that pressure is from other people or yourself.
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*not everyone agrees with this
But you should *never* feel pressured to try something you don't want to, whether that pressure is from other people or yourself.
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*not everyone agrees with this
I've seen people berating others for saying 'no' and then saying "you're not open-minded enough", "you should *always* want to expand your limits" or similar phrases, all to put pressure on people in attempts to override a lack of consent.
This is wrong and a major red flag.
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This is wrong and a major red flag.
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I've seen subs/bottoms/littles/ etc. feel that they are 'bad', 'fake' or somehow failing if they aren't on a quest to continually expand their limits, including doing things that they're not keen on.
This can be made worse by pressure from dominants, deliberate or otherwise.
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This can be made worse by pressure from dominants, deliberate or otherwise.
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You are ALWAYS allowed to say no.
It is ALWAYS ok to say "that kink/ activity is something you like, and that's great, *but it's not for me*"
That is NOT someone being 'close-minded', that is someone knowing their own mind and using their agency, making their own choice.
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It is ALWAYS ok to say "that kink/ activity is something you like, and that's great, *but it's not for me*"
That is NOT someone being 'close-minded', that is someone knowing their own mind and using their agency, making their own choice.
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To echo many who've spoken about consent:
'No' is a complete sentence -you don't have to justify it or explain your 'no'
You have no obligation to expand/push your limits
It's you that decides your limits, no-one else, & it's absolutely fine if you never want them to change
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'No' is a complete sentence -you don't have to justify it or explain your 'no'
You have no obligation to expand/push your limits
It's you that decides your limits, no-one else, & it's absolutely fine if you never want them to change
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If you want to expand your limits, then that's great! But the key bit is *you actually wanting to do it*
Expanding limits is NOT the Holy Grail of D/s, BDSM, kink, etc. Yes, it can often be presented as such. But that (like this thread) is just someone's personal opinion.
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Expanding limits is NOT the Holy Grail of D/s, BDSM, kink, etc. Yes, it can often be presented as such. But that (like this thread) is just someone's personal opinion.
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