I feel the as my . If you follow me then you understand. I'm honestly just numb. There's absolutely nothing to be done but to wait for him to complete his journey. This man is stubborn, just like me, so he gonna fight. Mentally he's gone, his is a blood bath.

There's no machine keeping him alive, it's his own will power. This is what I dreaded the most after our new found journey over the last year. He has taught me alot forgiveness and healing over these months. He wasn't a dad but he was my father. Watching him helpless breaks my

What I hate most about the healthcare system, my father long term girlfriend, 15 years, caregiver couldn't make not one decision with me. It killed me to make a decision she has earned. She wasn't even allowed in the room. What kind world is this we are living in, seriously.

My father and I didn't have the perfect relationship, shit we barely had a relationship after I was 9. Yet, the boy in me is breaking for my father who would literally bring me Hershey white chocolate bars every Friday at school. We created a cool bond within the short time.

Through his own imperfection, he made me a better man, a better human being. It was the life lessons he was teaching me indirectly through his imperfections. The dark moments in our life that he created allowed me to be a better counselor to my clients because of my experience.

I have three younger siblings I have to reconnect with. Even though we have different mothers, he have one father. Having his kids in one room would be something I know my father would've appreciated. Even in his journey to peace he's still passing along lessons.

The gift my father provided me through his imperfections made me a man he was proud of. We didn't speak often but he definitely told everyone about my accomplishments, every single one. I was his "golden child". My mom always said, he was a horrible husband but a great father.

One thing I love about my mom is her resilience. It didn't matter how many times my father changed his number, she found it and always made sure I had access to him if I needed. She always advocated for me to engage with my father after all he has done to her.

Both parents has given life lessons in different ways. And I'm grateful for every lesson that I have learned and will continue to learn from their teaching. The teachings they provided can not be taught and learned in any classroom. The teaching of life is a different classrom.

Last night I was angry at myself for not reconnecting earlier, my father for not reaching out, my mother for not forcing me enough, my fiancé for allowing me to open up these wounds but now I have nothing but gratitude for everyone that made this last year with my dad memorable.

To my Twitter family, you know who you are! I got nothing but love 4 y'all know that. I speak my truth about my experiences because in therapy talking about your experiences is a part of healing. You don't judge, you inspire and you at time become just as vulnerable as me!