Sometime in the next week or so, I’m going to have a baby. Long thread ahead about being a woman who wants a writing career and also a family. Sharing in hopes this helps other women and mothers feel seen. Buckle up.

When I left a publishing career at 29 to pursue TV Writing, I expected a long road ahead, but knew it was the right move. 5 yrs later, on the precipice of my hard work paying off, I headed into my mid-30s wanting two things: my writing career to get going and to become a mom.

Unfortunately, I’d reached the age where biology would begin to dictate timeline on the latter. I’d watched friends spend years struggling with fertility, and not knowing what our odds were, we thought now was the right time to head down this road.

Early on, my mind spun wondering how pregnancy would affect the career I’d been working diligently toward. Typically, the growing size of a woman’s belly lays bare her news. The pandemic meant things were anything but typical and over Zoom no one could see my changing shape.

I didn’t have to share...and I spent many conversations wondering whether to offer up the information. It felt disingenuous to hide this big thing happening in my life, but it also felt risky to reveal, knowing how it might affect my job prospects as an emerging writer.

I was a writers’ asst. through much of my pregnancy and wondered when to tell the staff. Would spilling the beans hurt my chances of staffing? When should I tell my reps? Would professional contacts be less likely to recommend me for job opps knowing I had a baby on the way?

I reached out to a few writers for advice and they agreed—not sharing my news was the right move for my career. Turns out, women in ML & UL positions have the same worries I had. Later, when I told my reps, they also agreed. This is a distinctly female issue.

There’s no expectation men will share an upcoming birth w their network months before. And when they do share, there’s often no change in how colleagues treat them - in fact, while women may be offered less responsibility upon sharing pregnancy news, men may be offered more.

I received writing assignments while in the writers’ room where I worked through month 7 of pregnancy and know I gained the respect of the writing staff, none of whom knew that I was dealing w nausea, exhaustion, swelling, lab tests, and all the anxieties of growing a human.

Even now at over 9 months pregnant, I’m taking meetings and not mentioning my pregnancy — because even with t-minus one week until my due date, I’m worried the news will have a negative impact on opportunities I’m up for.

When men become fathers, no one wonders if they’ll be as interested in/capable of doing their job. There’s no assumption dads don’t want new professional challenges because there’s a baby at home (not to say men who take paternity have a fair shake when returning to work).

But there’s a stigma surrounding motherhood—an unconscious societal belief that new moms should have time to just be mothers. For women who want that I’m all for it, but that’s not me. I’m happier when I’m working, and I love what I do—it’s an inextricable part of who I am.

I can’t imagine feeling complete w/o writing & don’t anticipate that’ll change w/ motherhood (as I mention this, I wonder if societal expectations have you questioning that premise). The way I see it, adding “mom” to my list of descriptors will enrich my life & my writing.

These 9mos, I’ve watched friends share pregnancies on social media while I sat out, happy to be pregnant and scared that sharing my joy would impact my career. The pandemic meant spending pregnancy in a bubble. Adding work anxiety to the equation made the bubble claustrophobic.

I woke up crying one morning as I rounded out my 6th month of pregnancy knowing I was missing out on the sense of community I would’ve had if I’d felt confident that sharing my news wouldn’t change the way I was viewed in staffing, development, and general meetings.

On the flip side, there’s guilt about having so much ambition as I enter motherhood. I want this career as much as I’ve ever wanted anything, but that’s not something you’re supposed to say out loud when you’re having a baby.

While I know things’ll change when our son arrives, my partner and I will tackle parenting as a team—the way we do everything. I feel incredibly lucky to have this kind of relationship w my partner & to have his support about continuing to work toward my career w full force.

I hope someday women won’t have to wonder if starting a family will impede their careers. I couldn’t be more excited to start this new chapter in life, and I’d have loved to share this journey w more people along the way.

I hate that I had to even pause to think: will sharing this news have a negative impact on my career trajectory? And that the answer I came up with was “yes.”

I’m still the same driven, capable, type-A woman I’ve always been. If anything, becoming a parent has amplified my goals because now I have an example to set for my child of how pursuing your passion with energy and hard work can lead to living your dream.

Anyway—TLDR: I’m having a baby VERY soon. Yay! I’m also available for staffing, have pilots & features ready for development, and I’d love to chat about my WIP. Hire women. Hire pregnant women. Hire moms. Climbing off my soapbox now and sitting down to write some pages.