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re Covenant Eyes on Josh Duggar& #39;s computer + hetero religious relationships
It& #39;s not a wife& #39;s job to monitor her husband& #39;s computer use. LDS women are not Quiverfull women, but some of our cultural issues are different hues of the same color. 1/ https://people.com/tv/josh-duggar-hearing-agent-reveals-timeline-child-porn-case//">https://people.com/tv/josh-d...
It& #39;s not a wife& #39;s job to monitor her husband& #39;s computer use. LDS women are not Quiverfull women, but some of our cultural issues are different hues of the same color. 1/ https://people.com/tv/josh-duggar-hearing-agent-reveals-timeline-child-porn-case//">https://people.com/tv/josh-d...
We& #39;re taught that porn is dangerous and addictive. That men can& #39;t help themselves. I have seen too many of my friends wear their hearts and minds out supervising their husband& #39;s wanderings through the internet. It& #39;s not their job. Stop making it their job. 2/
Porn is not addictive. It& #39;s something you choose to consume or choose not to consume. It& #39;s a choice. Sometimes choices become habits. Habits are not addictions. Some porn is exploitative. Some porn is not. A value set dictates whether you engage with it, not demon lusty women. 3/
I understand value sets that include consuming *ethically* made porn and I understand value sets that reject all porn. People disagree with me on this (and I totally see their points!) but I think it& #39;s ideal when partners values are aligned when it comes to porn. 4/
Sex is complicated. Trust and safety are paramount. Some people can feel trust and safety with porn in the relationship. Great. Some people can& #39;t feel safe with a partner who watches porn. Also great. You& #39;re allowed to have boundaries! Talk, decide what works best. BUT! 5/
When there is partnered alignment on *rejecting porn* that should not turn a wife into an enforcer. It is not her job! It is no woman& #39;s job to keep any man from sexual behavior in any way! It is not her calling. It is not her work. It is not part of her covenant. 6/
If a man keeps choosing to do a non-addictive thing that he& #39;s agreed they should reject as a couple, that& #39;s not a conversation about porn. That& #39;s a conversation about something else. And it& #39;s not something that passwords and filters will fix. (But couple& #39;s therapy might!) 7/
What should a woman enforce? Well, re the Duggar case, keeping a father who has hundreds of images of child rape on his computer from ever seeing his young children again is the kind of enforcement I expect. She can uninstall Covenant Eyes on her way to divorce court. 8/x
dammit I am going to have to turn this into an essay
