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There has been a lot of hand-wringing lately about the declining birthrate in the U.S., & I have a spicy take ready for you all. I read & listen to a lot of the #discourse on this because it interests me, & there are SO MANY layers, but there seem to be 2 main camps of people:
1. There are the "BuT wHy Is ThE bIrThRaTe DeClInInG" folks who just can& #39;t imagine why others are having fewer children (What could it be!!!).
2. Then there are the people who say, "Duh, it& #39;s b/c of student debt, no social safety net, childcare costs, housing costs, etc" & rattle off solely logistical issues (all extremely valid!).
I present to you a 3rd option, & that is... maybe this is one of the first times in human history that more women can more easily say "you know what? Nope" to the thought of having a kid just because "ThAt& #39;S wHaT pEoPlE dO" or b/c they feel forced by society onto one path.
There& #39;s not always a capital-R Reason for women to not have kids. Sometimes they literally just don& #39;t want to!! And we& #39;re finally reaching a point in society where that choice is even moderately accepted as "normal" (Although we& #39;re still not even close to being all the way there)
Lack of a social safety net & declining wages & a general capitalistic hellhole are all extremely valid reasons for not having kids & likely explain many people& #39;s choices! But it doesn& #39;t explain away all of us!
This isn& #39;t a popular take at all, but not every choice has to be "justified" by external data or a declining society or Big Reasons. Sometimes the decreasing stigma around saying "I just don& #39;t want to" plays a bigger role than you think even if it’s not seen as a “valid” reason.
I hope we keep expanding that freedom of choice & lack of stigma to everyone, regardless of race, geography, class, etc. (We& #39;re not there yet). And I hope we invest in parental leave, affordable housing & childcare, etc b/c if you want kids you should feel supported to have them.
Basically, let people have kids if they want them & opt out if they don’t, & give them tools & infrastructure they need, regardless of what side of the fence they’re on. (This means abortion rights & access to birth control AND access to childcare, higher wages, housing, etc.)
I think all the big societal reasons people don’t want kids are worth studying. But I’m also over the demonizing/moralizing/condescension/confusion that women who don’t want kids are often met with. Reasons other than logistical calculations are just as valid!
