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There has been a lot of hand-wringing lately about the declining birthrate in the U.S., & I have a spicy take ready for you all. I read & listen to a lot of the #discourse on this because it interests me, & there are SO MANY layers, but there seem to be 2 main camps of people:
1. There are the "BuT wHy Is ThE bIrThRaTe DeClInInG" folks who just can't imagine why others are having fewer children (What could it be!!!).
2. Then there are the people who say, "Duh, it's b/c of student debt, no social safety net, childcare costs, housing costs, etc" & rattle off solely logistical issues (all extremely valid!).
I present to you a 3rd option, & that is... maybe this is one of the first times in human history that more women can more easily say "you know what? Nope" to the thought of having a kid just because "ThAt'S wHaT pEoPlE dO" or b/c they feel forced by society onto one path.
There's not always a capital-R Reason for women to not have kids. Sometimes they literally just don't want to!! And we're finally reaching a point in society where that choice is even moderately accepted as "normal" (Although we're still not even close to being all the way there)
Lack of a social safety net & declining wages & a general capitalistic hellhole are all extremely valid reasons for not having kids & likely explain many people's choices! But it doesn't explain away all of us!
This isn't a popular take at all, but not every choice has to be "justified" by external data or a declining society or Big Reasons. Sometimes the decreasing stigma around saying "I just don't want to" plays a bigger role than you think even if it’s not seen as a “valid” reason.
I hope we keep expanding that freedom of choice & lack of stigma to everyone, regardless of race, geography, class, etc. (We're not there yet). And I hope we invest in parental leave, affordable housing & childcare, etc b/c if you want kids you should feel supported to have them.
Basically, let people have kids if they want them & opt out if they don’t, & give them tools & infrastructure they need, regardless of what side of the fence they’re on. (This means abortion rights & access to birth control AND access to childcare, higher wages, housing, etc.)
I think all the big societal reasons people don’t want kids are worth studying. But I’m also over the demonizing/moralizing/condescension/confusion that women who don’t want kids are often met with. Reasons other than logistical calculations are just as valid!
