The Inherent Torture of XiaoVen As Perceived Through A Writer's Mind, a thread:

I first got into the ship through @yeetoldy's gorgeous Modern!AU XiaoVen works, thinking that the "hehe pretty boys like kissing" dynamic would still apply to canon XiaoVen.

Oh how wrong I was.

Venti, the drunken bard in canon, is fickle -- perhaps even too much for his own good. He is best characterized by a tendency to never stay grounded, because that's not freedom (at least to him).

A voice at the back of my head tells me that he dislikes commitment.

Namely, commitment to another.

Freedom is granted by self, he states, so what is true freedom if you tether yourself to someone?

Promise, in regards to love and dedication, is a vice in his eyes.

Of course he honors bonds with close friends, but there is a clear priority here.

Friends are friends. They come and go like the tide, occasionally washing up shells and tiny mementos used to decorate the sides of picture frames that preserve memories otherwise lost at sea if not for the image.

But lovers...

You give your whole self to lovers.

At the beginning of a relationship, you exchange souls.

They hold your heart in delicate palms and you beg them to not crush it at any given moment by preserving the relationship, by cherishing it.

At your happiest, you want it to last forever.

Because you feel safe.

This is even more pronounced when you recognize that both Xiao and Venti are immortal.

They can love forever.

They CAN.

But does Venti want to?

(He knows Xiao does).

The only person Venti ever give himself to (because he literally gave himself to them) is that bard from so long ago.

And in saying this, it becomes clear that Xiao will never experience receiving of this kind of infatuation.

Xiao, the undying yaksha, only knows how to give. He gives without considering what the recipient of his loyalty might give unto him in return for his dedication.

So selfless because of manipulation, so naive because he never changes, so easy to bend and twist and control.

Xiao never feels a protruding obligation to give because that obligation IS his life. It's his way of living, his way of showing affection.

He throws himself at others in the hopes that it's enough to suffice, without asking what the other party has to offer.

He's never known to ask for things. All he's known, as taught by his cruel master, was to give and expect for others to take and never give back no matter how ungodly/inhumanely they might behave.

He's merely a tool, used for reaping unearned benefits.

But with Venti...

He hears his song.

And for the first time it feels like HE is heard.

With Venti, the feeling of giving is hauntingly beautiful, but unfamiliar at the same time.

Because he finally receives something in return for his love:

A song.

He cares not how simple it is, how mundane of a gift it is to some.

To him, the song represents liberation.

The song represents everything he's ever wanted.

In his desperation, he perceives it as good karma.

And this ties him to Venti.

So Xiao gives his entire life to Venti. Xiao is soothed by the music that comes from the bard's lyre -- a serpent's song that draws in the dancing reptile.

Venti, whether it's intentional or not, is the snakecharmer that pulls Xiao along for entertainment.

But he does love him.

Just not in the way Xiao loves Venti.

Just not in the way that Xiao would give everything to him, just to perhaps hear another song come out of the bard's tool.

Just not in the way that Xiao gives his whole self.

The god of freedom knows not what love is, it seems, because of his title, because of his person.

Love is a contract that limits, despite what others may say about love being liberating, freeing.

Because what is freedom if given to you by others?

In all honesty this is mostly just my fury at the complexity of their relationship, in seeing how much these differences in expressions of dedication and receiving affection dictate each character.
Their relationship is so difficult to grasp because of the concepts woven into it.

What is love? What is freedom? What constitutes if one is truly free or not?

Why does love need to restrict freedom?

Is depriving oneself of worldly desire, despite being otherworldly yourself, the true key to freedom?

Xiao the giver versus Venti the taker.

Venti the fickle versus Xiao the stagnant.

Both immortal, both unyielding to the tests of time...

Both unable to see the other side of the fence.

They clash so boldly it makes me cry when trying to paint this dynamic onto simple paper, in a limited number of words, but the way they work, the way they push and pull but never really get anywhere...

God it's just so devastatingly beautiful.

#genshintwt #XiaoVen #XiaoVenti