I grew up impoverished for most of my childhood. On food stamps, on again off again assisted by either the state or church for housing. Watching my parents work odd jobs to keep food on the table as they finished their degrees

And we escaped that. My parents both got decent jobs

by the time I was in high school. We could finally afford to take a vacation once in a while, pay for my sibling's music lessons, the occasional splurge when we got good grades or needed a pick me up. But in my mind, even after that, I retained this idea that I was poor. And kind

of built my identity around it. When I enlisted, and tried to set the record for fastest marriage and early fatherhood after boot camp, I once again felt poverty. Some stupid financial decisions and poor risk management had me 19 and on WIC, reinforcing this idea that I was from

poverty and so this was my normal lot in life.

Gradually I matured, took better care of my finances (+ the safety & breathing room the military gave me), got my degrees, learned & prospered from my wife's wisdom & smarter financial moves, & moved out of poverty & into relative

prosperity.

I had a lot of hookups along the way. Despite crippling medical issues for my family, TRICARE looked after me. When I lost rent money to a shitty friend taking a loan from me and bouncing, my parents made up the difference & let me pay it back as I could. The degrees

I never could have self financed were payed for by the military. The experience and training I needed to get a job post military, provided by the military.

The safety net of a steady paycheck even when I was unwell and couldn't work, provided by the military. And through it all,

I couldn't stop thinking, no matter how well my life was improving, "you were born poor, you are still poor, you will remain poor".

Poverty is nothing to be ashamed of. It's as much a function of who & where you were born, as it is what you can actually do about it. I was given

innumerable opportunities to improve my lot. And I did. But part of what keeps me centered today, and keeps me, an upper middle class white dude with all his wants and needs met and dreams fulfilled, from getting cocky & getting self righteous about pulling myself up from my

"bootstraps" is the knowledge that it's all bullshit. I could have missed out on a lot of opportunities. Had my parents not been able to secure good work, had my mom's illness taken root earlier, had I not passed my military medical exam, had I not married someone better than me,

I could easily be stuck in that same trap. I was extremely fortunate. I had the right set of opportunities at the right time, and had the good fortune to have friend and family to support me when I didn't. I had the good luck to be eligible for one of the greatest welfare systems

and social mobility schemes in the United States: the military.

Sometimes I ponder how I moved from a Rush Limbaugh Republican to a fairly centrist occasional Democrat.

And really I think it comes down to his often I think about how easily it would have been for none of my

success to happen. How one missed step could have seen me remaining in abject poverty.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. I had a rough night and spent a lot of time soul searching, and kept coming back to the same place: I am unbelievably lucky. I married well. I

have kids better than I ever was. I am in good health. My debts are paid. My career is secure and fulfilling. My friends are truer and more loyal than I ever deserved. My cup floweth over.

So why do I feel guilty over not being poor anymore? I honestly can't answer it. But one

thing I can answer, is this I don't ever want to be the kind of man who looks on others in their times of struggle, and ask why they don't just try harder. I don't know what the social answer to systemic poverty is in this country. But I know for damn sure it isn't moving from a

bad place to a good one and then looking down on everyone still trying to do the same.

I'm lucky. Unreasonably lucky. By all rights I should have been dead in a ditch years ago. And here I am prospering. And I hope I never lose sight of just how low I was at times, despite

trying my best. Poverty isn't something we get to choose or opt out of. It's not something anyone with the means to fix remains in. And as a people, we should stop treating it as something to be ashamed of or as if it's just a matter of hustling harder. Many of us here were given

unbelievable opportunities to fix our situation.

For millions of others, those opportunities never arose. And the difference between us is overwhelmingly one of chance and luck, not some innate capacity for greatness.

Anyways, I felt like spewing. Peace y'all.