you've got parents who'll be borderline psychopaths to their kids then those kids will become adults who actively avoid going home.

Now you have those parents playing another psychopathic card: accusing the kids of being ungrateful.

Not a shred of self-reflection at any point.

Emotional blackmail left and right. Accusing your kids of not caring about you, but when you had the opportunity to create a relationship with that kid, all you did was abuse them.

Now they're on the lam, essentially.

Obviously I don't know anything about being a parent, but surely there's a reality where a parent realizes that their distant child is a direct outcome of their parenting style and then they work towards fixing it *today*

By apologizing, for starters.

Or at least acknowledging that they did a banged-up job of it and expressing a desire to try to be better now.

Sweeping it under the carpet will mostly never work.

The North (that is, your kid) remembers. And they're legging it in the other direction.

What do you get when you mix a culture of vicious, abusive parents and the idea that you should never question/interrogate their parenting?

Quiet, polite adult children who'll do anything to minimize the amount of time they spend in the same location as their parents.