Read on Twitter
I've been reflecting on what I've been posting and how I was acting for like the past month or two even, and I can shamefully say that I seem to slowly get into that territory of being toxic. (a small thread)
This became problematic to me once a couple of people in the HealthySonamy group I'm in, called me out for going after a specific troll in the community, whom I had accumulated tremendous amount of anger and resentment towards, for the past three years.
As he happened to arise back from the ashes and began to paint one of my friends as those "toxic Sonamy fanbrats" people love to hate on, I just couldn't resist the urge to bite back and give him a taste of his own medicine no more.
I don't believe I'm completely in the wrong here, as I think this person still rightfully deserved to get called out one way or another. Knocking some sense into people can sometimes be effective, even if it doesn't work all the time.
I'm all for calling out brainless "Sonamy haters" and I don't plan on stopping that altogether, but it feels like that's all I have been doing for this past month, which honestly takes away a lot from the "Healthy" portion of the group representing it.
I guess that's just the icing on the cake as to how being greeted into fandom discourse on this bird platform can and will have an impact on your mental well-being. It's all personal to me. Pretty much all my time being a Sonic fan, I was in places I felt uncomfortable in.
Virtually every single place I felt comfort in gets bombarded with discourse. I joined Sonic Twitter at the time where Sonamy fans were such punching bags that the only thing Sonamy group admins could ever do to defend themselves is to continue running the joke to the ground.
Laughing it all off and just playing along, in hopes of not giving the perpetrator the wrong idea and because that person happens to be rising in popularity and respected enough to become fully immune to any criticism for their actions.
I rejoined Twitter again, felt brave enough doing so, but seeing those same people that tormented me still on here, felt like a huge brick wall blocking me, even if most of these accounts are now either inactive or have moved on to other passions and interests.
It should also be worth noting that I'm now an adult, in contrast to being a teen when I first joined the Sonic fandom. So going after a couple of random kids just because they jokingly refute the idea of Amy ever being in the movie, does feel like I'm lacking any self-awareness.
I'll still have my resentment towards the Western portion of this fanbase, but I'll have to admit that I'm always forgetting the reality that I'm arguing with these people all over a pink hedgehog entirely coded in zeros in ones.
I seem to have developed some sort of a personality trait to belittle ignorant kids that spew out dumb takes, but I got to remind myself that I was a kid once and I myself have said and did cringy stuff. None of which involving anything Sonic related, but still.
I'll always groan and roll my eyes at every single dumb take I see on this bird platform, but it honestly wouldn't hurt to have a little self-respect. After all, there's always a human being behind that screen of theirs with feelings I obviously don't know about.
On top of that, I've been reading through much of my Blaze rant I've made back in March, and I'm actually considering deleting the second half of it consisting of the user I deemed to be toxic.
I initially wanted to point out the stupidity some Sonaze fans share in the fandom but screaming and cussing at the top of my lungs at how toxic, cringy and annoying he is, while also typing in all caps, does seem very immature, and gives off the vibe that I'm insecure.
I should've at the very least censored out his name so I don't initiate any dogpiling on the dude, but I guess that I just hated Sonaze fans so much that I just wanted to show it to people from a perspective of a Sonamy fan. Talk about being easy for people to get under my skin.
If anybody wants it, here's the rant. I believe it still holds up, as I still stand by what I said here. I still hate the things I've talked out or mentioned, but I think it's still a good read for those that want a different perspective I guess. https://twitter.com/xenotime001/status/1373567920467443714?s=20
While I don't want this thread to come off as me that did a big no-no, nor a half-assed apology you would normally see from people involved in some form in controversy, I still think this serves as a bit of a warning as to not go over the edge when interacting with this fanbase.
I'll try to dial down on this belittling and calling-out behavior from here on. I can't guarantee that I will ever be free from stumbling upon any toxic trolls within the fandom that needs to get called out,
but given how the Twitter timeline works, I can see that people would be feeling all annoyed and tired out seeing my replies to these people, as I constantly argue with a brick wall.
However, I'm still not entirely done with ranting over my Sonic fandom experience. I still wanna fully clarify my bitterness and resentment towards Sonic Mania in another future thread, particularly the RoomForOneMore movement.
I have briefly mentioned how much this movement afftected me a couple of times before, but I haven't gone through every single detail as there's this one video that undoubtedly started it all, which I wanna shed some light towards.
It's weird that I have both this and I guess my "Amy's treatment in the 2000s" rant/thread planned, but I guess I just have a tendency to make things harder for myself.
Oh, and I noticed that I lied about this being a small thread. Oops.
