1/n: I lost a close relative (my uncle) to Covid last week in Delhi. I think I finally have it in me to share our experience, and the indignity of dying in this country today.

2/n: First things first, we are people of privilege. We have the resources to afford good healthcare. We have contacts, we have friends who are influential and we have doctors in the family.

3/n: We've spent our lives saving for health emergencies, and believing that when it does come to it, we will be able to afford the best care. And that's what makes this so unbelievable.

4/n: My uncle caught Covid on one of his hospital visits for another treatment. We isolated him, got him consultations, and kept taking advice and meds given by professionals. We went by the rulebook.

5/n: When his oxygen started dipping below 92, we proned him, and started making the calls for a hospital bed. We knew beds were scarce in Delhi, so we didn't waste any time in calling everyone we knew. This is when our real nightmare started.

6/n: For hours, and after countless calls, we got nothing. My uncle's oxygen dipped to 71. We got a cylinder at home and gave him oxygen. We called someone who was the head doc of a hospital in Vaishali, Gzb.

7/n: It's when this doc broke down on the phone did I realise how dire the situation is. He told us straight off that his own family is lying in the lobby and ward of his hospital. He said there aren't enough resources.

8/n: That he wants to help everyone, but he has never been so helpless in his 30+ years of medical service. We still tried, we sent pleas on social media, and we called more people and begged, and we finally managed a bed.

9/n: When we got to the hospital, we were told that we only have the bed for 2 hours, it was pre-booked by someone and we needed to find an alternate: and that too an ICU bed, since my uncle was deteriorating.

10/n: It was around 10 PM and we got on our phones again. Meanwhile, my semi-conscious uncle kept gasping for breath and asking when will the docs attend to him. He kept telling his kids he will be fine once he gets the medical attention.

11/n: Around 11.30 PM, after countless begging and pleading and using every single contact we ever had, we managed an ICU bed. After more waiting and pleading, we convinced them to take my uncle for a CT scan. But it was too late.

12/n: My uncle didn't make it through the night. And unfortunately this story is all too common today. I can tell you this: he didn't deserve to die this way. No one does.

13/n: I want to ask, what do you tell your loved ones, who want to live, but die gasping for breath because they didn't get the medical care they needed. Do we tell them the system has failed? What consolation is that for a child who cannot attend their father's last rites also?

14/n: What do I tell my mom, who didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her brother? That we begged and pleaded and tried everything but the State and Center can't figure out oxygen logistics or bed triaging?

15/n: We didn't deserve to beg for the life of a loved one to be saved. No one does. But that's our reality today. The only way you can save your loved ones (or try to) is by using contacts. It didn't have to be this way.

16/n: And if it is this way for the privileged lot like ours, I shudder to think how millions of people with minimal resources and contacts are struggling to survive. Just to stay alive.

17/n: I'm not ashamed to say that the only way we found a cremation place and time for my uncle was through a benevolent contact. We were told to wait for 18 hours otherwise. For a cremation. We were denied a fair chance to fight for his life. And he was denied dignity in death.

18/n: Through all this, one thing that stood out was the generosity of strangers. Of people on social media who verified leads for us. Of total strangers who offered to ferry cylinders. Of people who helped us find a hospital bed.

19/n: But a bunch of good people cannot fix a broken system. They cannot make up for the utter lack of concern of those who are responsible for their citizens' lives. And nothing strikes you harder than this reality when you lose a loved one.

20/n: After this long thread, here's my message. Let's not let hate divide us, again. Let's not fall for narratives of divisiveness. Let's ask questions, let's hold people in power accountable.

21/n: The least we deserve is a fair chance to save our loved ones. The least the departed deserve is a fair chance to fight for their lives. All of this has been denied to us. And we should ask why. After having one whole year to be prepared, why? We deserve answers.

n/n: And lastly, please please be kind to each other, and look out for each other. Because the system is certainly not looking out for any of us.