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I thought it would be fun to start a thread on what I expect having a baby to be like.
It will be a silly way to publicly admit how wrong I am, and all you parents out there will hopefully get some good laughs at my naivety.
I'm 34 weeks pregnant today. Let's do it.
It will be a silly way to publicly admit how wrong I am, and all you parents out there will hopefully get some good laughs at my naivety.
I'm 34 weeks pregnant today. Let's do it.
Childbirth seems scary. It's like someone saying to you, "In a month, you'll be kicked in the balls hard 6 times, but then someone will give you a million dollars."
I know I'll be happy about that second part, but could we maybe avoid the most excruciating pain of my life part?
I know I'll be happy about that second part, but could we maybe avoid the most excruciating pain of my life part?
I think this baby is going to be early. I have no idea why. But I think she'll be somewhere from a few days to 2 weeks ahead of schedule.
Maybe this is because I can't bear the idea of being pregnant MORE than another 6 weeks.
Maybe this is because I can't bear the idea of being pregnant MORE than another 6 weeks.
Every first time parent seems afraid to blink for the first few weeks, watching the baby CONSTANTLY.
That definitely won't be me. Obviously she'll be fine, and I don't have to stare at her to make sure she keeps breathing.
That definitely won't be me. Obviously she'll be fine, and I don't have to stare at her to make sure she keeps breathing.
People say breastfeeding is really hard. 2 million years of ancestors + evolution wouldn't let us survive if it was truly that difficult. Literally, a monkey can do it. AND did you know pigeons feed their babies with milk? Male and female! And those are some dumb birds.
How many diapers a day does a newborn need? Sure I could go Google it, but I like a little mystery in my world. The pack of diapers we have says "12-hour dry" but NO WAY is that how long a diaper lasts.
I'm gonna guess 4-6 diapers a day. Only time will tell!
I'm gonna guess 4-6 diapers a day. Only time will tell!
I REALLY MISS COCKTAILS. As soon as she's born, I'm going to have an extra dry martini, a manhattan, and a scotch on the rocks to celebrate. I'll totally feel like doing that, right?
New parents say they don't shower nearly as much as they'd like. A daily shower is very important to my mental health. What on earth could possibly keep me from 10 minutes a day in steamy hot water? Doesn't she sleep like 18 hours a day?
