In honour of #MentalHealthWeek, and to encourage others (esp. lawyers) to share their own struggles and solutions, I'll reveal some personal stuff that I normally keep hidden from public view. /1

#mentalhealth
#MentalHealthMatters
#lawtwitter
#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek https://twitter.com/LawSocietyLSO/status/1389216466642345990

I am diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, Tourette's syndrome, ADHD, and cluster B personality traits (suspected borderline personality disorder). I likely have a complex form of PTSD, and I'm also suspected to be on the autism spectrum. /2

Medication saved my life.

I take four prescriptions daily, and without them I wouldn't be able to live a full, normal life.

It took many years of experimentation with various meds to find a combination that worked for my complex array of symptoms. That process was grueling. /3

For many years I was basically a pharmaceutical guinea pig, testing different medications to find what worked and what didn't.

It also took a long time for my doctor(s) to reach the correct diagnoses - largely because my collection of symptoms fit multiple different labels. /4

I am eternally grateful for the efforts of my doctor(s). Thanks to their help, I am now mostly symptom free, and the issues I do still experience can usually be managed. /5

It was only relatively recently that I found a treatment regimen that worked for me. I'm not "cured", but thanks to having the proper support I am able to live a stable, productive life as a lawyer running my own business. /6

Life was very different before I got proper treatment.

On the social side, I alienated a lot of people: I was overly combative, abrasive, and lacking in appropriate amounts of empathy and care for others' feelings. Mood stabilizers (especially Abilify) fixed all of that. /7

Privately, I struggled with more symptoms than can be described here, but among them were emotional dysregulation (e.g. emotional overreaction), crushing depression (including crippling insomnia), and hypervigilance (overactive stress response). Again, meds fixed all this. /8

One particular symptom deserves its own shout-out, and that's verbal tics. Because of my Tourette's, I involuntarily mutter (and occasionally shout) vile expletives. Its entirely outside of my control, it just happens.

Thankfully, meds have largely eliminated this symptom. /9

It took me a very long time to accept that I needed help, and that I couldn't manage my issues entirely on my own. I lost many good years stubbornly trying to muscle through the problems with diet, exercise, and lifestyle, but ultimately these were not complete solutions. /10

I also don't want to be taken as saying that medication alone is what helped me. In addition to lifestyle adjustments, therapy also worked wonders for helping me identify & correct negative thought patterns. But even therapy wasn't enough on its own in my case - I needed meds./11

Why am I writing all this? Because someone out there needs to hear it. I know this because I didn't get help until someone else shared their struggles with me. It took another's story for me to get on the right path, and I want to pay it forward. /12

So, to whoever needs to hear it: if you're struggling, don't do it alone. You don't have to follow the same path I did; maybe medication isn't the answer for you the way it was for me. Everyone is different. But help is out there, & it *can* get better if you put the work in. /13

If you follow me on Twitter and are struggling, please feel free to message me privately. As I said, I'm here to pay it forward.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. /14