Since it's BPD awareness month I want to write about something a lot of people might not know about: quiet BPD.

I am not a professional, so this will be based on my experiences with quiet BPD. If anyone wants to add their experiences in the replies, please do! :)

What is quiet BPD?

Quiet BPD is a specific presentation of BPD where you turn the symptoms in on yourself instead of outwardly expressing them. You can experience the mood swings, splitting, emotional attachment, etc that is typical of BPD, but you don't outwardly express these.

When people think of BPD, they often think of explosive anger and intense, obvious mood swings. This isn't accurate for every pwBPD, but it's especially inaccurate for people with quiet BPD. You could have the outward appearance of a totally healthy person, but on the inside +

you're experiencing so much inner turmoil because of the symptoms of BPD that you don't express. It can be so overwhelming and isolating, because people experiencing this often feel great guilt around the idea of reaching out for help or expressing these emotions.

Here's some things you may experience if you have quiet BPD:

-Mood swings, even if you don't show them outwardly
-Chronic feelings of guilt and/or shame
-Blaming yourself when bad things happen
-Switching between idealizing and resenting someone without letting them know

-Chronic feelings of numbness, emptiness, and/or detachment
-Suppressing your emotions, especially negative emotions
-Isolating yourself when you're upset

You don't need quiet BPD to experience these, but I've found me and my friends with quiet BPD often *really* relate to these

Another thing to note: quiet BPD is not a formal diagnosis, but rather a specific expression of BPD. There are literally hundreds of presentations of BPD, and quiet BPD represents a group of these presentations.

I think it's important we talk about quiet BPD, because it's harder to diagnose and people with it often go so long enduring all these symptoms without knowing why they feel this way. It can be so overwhelming and isolating.

This is why we need to fight the stereotyped that pwBPD are inherently explosive, manipulative, etc. Not only is this obviously not true, but it's isolating people with BPD who are in many aspects the opposite of those stereotypes. It's leaving them hurting with no clue why.

Again, please remember that this is all based on my experiences and what I've learned in therapy. If you want to add yours experiences please do! There's also resources online, but I'm not going to link them because I don't know how well-researched these sites are.