it’s #BPDAwarenessMonth and I want to talk about having BPD.

i was debating on posting this bc i get nervous! but i decided that i wanted to share my experiences bc when i see people i look up to who have BPD inspires me to work harder on myself (1/?)

so here’s a thread on BPD

this is from my experience, so someone else will have a different one.

BPD for me is a nice thing to know but also something i feel that i have to constantly hide from people. ive had people tell me they were afraid of me when i told them i have BPD. its not great (2/?)

but i feel like i should make this as a pwBPD and as a SW. its important for us to understand the stigma behind personality disorders, especially ones that affect our relationships with others. BPD is a big component to my relationships whether platonic or not, its there (3/?)

and therefore it makes it hard and it makes it scary to make new friends. i like to hide myself and who i am from people because i dont want them to be afraid, which like i said has happened before. even when i do have friends they seem impossible to keep bc of my splitting (4/?)

thankfully ive learned to communicate with people when i am splitting - and identify that i am splitting. its taken a lot of work and i have hurt a lot of people on this journey - i will not deny that. but i learned. and it sucked, bc i never knew what was wrong with me (5/?)

BPD is considered ‘borderline’ psychosis, bc ur not in complete psychosis but somewhat sorta on it. i like to identify them as delusions - i’ll start being delusional towards others and most often towards myself. i’ll create fake “evidence” that just proves my case (6/?)

i can be very convincing when im having an episode (splitting)! and sometimes i have to completely disconnect from the person until i let my emotions pass through. and thats the core of BPD really - the emotions we have, we experience them at 1000%. (7/?)

instead of sadness we experience hopelessness. instead of joy we experience mania. and it’s exhausting, because our mood fluctuates rapidly throughout the day and we have to deal with these massive emotions that are being basically hurled at us. (8/?)

BPD stems from childhood abuse and usually requires someone to have experience CSA. it’s a cluster b personality disorder along aside ASPD (anti social) and NPD (narcissistic).

BPD is often misdiagnosed as Bipolar and PTSD (though high co-morbidity). BPD is often seen alongside PTSD, depression, and anxiety diagnoses. BPD also affects perception of self, which includes sexuality and this isnt often talked about.

you may flip around from one identity to the other because you have an unstable perception of self. that is ok, you are still 100% valid.

pwBPD have the highest mortality rate due to neglect by professionals, misdiagnosis, and people just generally not Getting it. pwBPD are more prone to being abused than the abuser, and have one of the highest rates of self harm and suicide attempts.

HOWEVER, what people dont know about BPD - and what i want pwBPD to know - is that the recovery rate is extremely high. higher than most personality disorders. so please, please stick with therapy. it will get better in time.

and pls be patient with pwBPD, we are trying our best