The term “binary trans” is entirely conceptually incoherent because the mere existence of transness destroys the binary at its metaphysical foundations—which includes a destruction of the idea that cis women or cis men are really “binary” either.

If you are a trans woman or man who identifies as “binary” I totally understand—we are incentivized and coerced both historically and presently to legitimate our genders under a cisheteronormative society in order to achieve respect and basic care. I have no qualms!

What I am saying is that it’s a conceptual structure that also harms us—that we should not have to validate our genders in relation to a cisness in any way. Being cisgender is not the platonic ideal when there is no truly sensical binary to prop it up.

“Non-binary” has developed linguistically in a specific way as an identity unbrella that I do not specifically relate to, but that does not mean I am “binary” either! I am in no way interested in having my womanhood be confined or defined in relation to cisness or men.

I think this may help explain why a statement like “lesbian is my gender” resonates for so many people, as it may present a way out of thinking from our current binary/non-binary framework. Certainly “leatherdyke is my gender” resonates for me!

I think people should use the words that click for them because language is always contextual, always rooted in history, place, and community. On the other hand, I also want to give you permission to never have to define yourself in relation to cisheteronormativity ever again.