The Muppets and Lord of the Rings -- two beloved franchises that debuted in the 1950s. What happens if we bring them together? Join me on a journey into the Muppet Lord of the Rings Movie.
KERMIT THE FROG as FRODO BAGGINS
He'd rather sit by The Water and play his banjo, but when the world needs him, he'll be there to accept his duty.
MISS PIGGY as SAMWISE GAMGEE
A devoted companion for Frodo. "I can't carry the ring ... but I can carry you! HiiiiiiYAH!" *launches Frodo like a football up into the Cracks of Doom*
ERNIE AND BERT as MERRY AND PIPPIN
Name a more iconic duo. I'll wait.
BIG BIRD as GANDALF
We need someone who will tower over the hobbits, so why not one of the tallest Muppets? I think this makes Snuffy the Valar.
THE SWEDISH CHEF as TOM BOMBADIL
He's not getting left out of *this* movie. Hur Tom Borkadil, fleegin bork a hurgo!
OSCAR THE GROUCH as STRIDER
People complain that the Peter Jackson movies made Aragorn reluctant to declare himself king, but I figure we can lean into that. Plus he must have a bunch of broken swords in that trash can. Slimy is, of course, Arwen.
COOKIE MONSTER as BOROMIR
Inescapably tempted by something round.
SCOOTER as ELROND HALF-ELVEN
That clipboard will help him keep the Council in order.
GONZO as LEGOLAS GREENLEAF
Who else can pull off those acrobatic battle moves?
FOZZIE BEAR as GIMLI SON OF GLOIN
We need someone with the comedic chops to keep up with Gonzo-Legolas.
DR. BUNSEN HONEYDEW AND BEAKER as SARUMAN AND GRIMA WORMTONGUE
Engaged in important ring-related research.
COUNT VON COUNT as GALADRIEL
He'll be perfect for narrating the prologue: "Seven, seven Dwarven rings! Ah ah ah ah!" *thunder* *lightning*
ELMO as THEODEN KING
Arise, arise, Riders of Théoden!
Fell deeds awake: fire and slaughter!
Spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered,
a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!
DEEEAAATTHHHH!!!!
PRAIRIE DAWN as EOWYN
I just want to see sweet little Prairie Dawn fuck the Witch King's shit up.
LINK HOGTHROB as EOMER
Riding to the rescue with the Pigs in Space
SAM THE EAGLE as DENETHOR
Rigid and unwilling to accept change, but fiercely patriotic.
GROVER as FARAMIR
He's just too nice.
JOHN DENVER as GOLLUM
Every Muppet movie needs one human character. My family always loved the Muppet Christmas album, so let's have John Denver incongruously play Gollum. (Smeagol will, of course, be a Muppet.)
SWEETUMS as TREEBEARD
He's big.
THE YIP YIP ALIENS as THE RINGWRAITHS
Baggins, Shire, yip yip yip
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