I'm gonna be retweeting a lot of material for #BPDAwarenessMonth so please check some of it out. I really want everyone close to me to understand what i experience and learn how to understand me and others with bpd.

To share my experience: ive always felt scared and empty, and ive been able to fill that void in my life with powerful attachment to people. Its been so easy for me to be manipulated and abused because i happily take any beating if it means i wont lose the people i cling to

Its like i have a constant second voice in my head. Shouting conspiracy, trying to convince me everyone i love either hates me or is evil. My interactions with loved ones make me feel only ultimate joy or ultimate fear, pain, and despair.

I can get flooded with paranoia and jealously of everyone around me. I can see everyone other than my fp as a threat. Its not a trust issue. I know my girlfriend is a righteous and loyal person but my intrusive thoughts refuse to listen to reason.

I can overthink and cry over the most trivial disagreements. The slightest shift in tone or negative reaction can make me want to hurt myself and make me feel like the scum of the earth and that its the end of my relationship.

I can come off as so obsessive and clingy and selfish. But im just afraid. Losing people hurts more than anything and i dont feel like i can afford to lose anyone else anymore. I feel the need to put as much effort as possible to be worth keeping

I have unhealthy and impulsive habits. I stress/impulse eat, drive recklessly, push my body past its breaking point with exercise, take unhealthy amounts of caffeine, all partly because i dont care about myself, part because i have a desire to, and partly because i deserve it.

I have so many feelings in my heart. So much love and so much fear. I just want to be understood and told its ok to be who i am. I carry a lot of baggage with me but please accept me.

For a while i was led to believe i had depression, but i never really felt the lack of enjoyment from activities or the dull feelings like people i knew with depression had. I felt powerful happiness a lot, powerful sadness a lot.

Finding out i had bpd was the best thing that happened to my mental health in a while. I stopped feeling alone in my feelings. Im just happy my experience isnt exclusive to me. Im happy now people can find a way to understand