Last night when I got back to EMS headquarters at the end of my shift there was a group of 40-60 people, mostly young adults assembled in a parking lot/loading area directly across from where we return our vehicles.

No distancing, no masks.

/1

I sat in my truck stunned.

And angry.

This wasn’t a protest.

This was a boatload of people having a party in a parking lot.

Music blaring, close dancing, the whole deal.

/2

A huge part of me wanted to drive over and scream at them.

I spent my night in PPE trying to help COVID patients, and these people were literally having a party without a care in the world, like it’s just the #BestSummerEver.

I took a few breaths...

/3

And then I slowly drove over.

I pulled up beside them and rolled down my window.

One of the prototypical tough guys said “who the F*ck does this guy think he is?”

I looked at the closest one and asked him, “Do you know what this building is?”

/4

He looks at me and says “Yeah, it’s EMS headquarters”.

I’m stunned.

My anger starts to rise again.

I push it back down.

I’ll use it, not the opposite.

I take half a second, pick the people I want to make eye contact with and then I speak again.

/5

“I have coworkers who can’t see their families because of exposures trying to treat people because of this pandemic. I have friends who haven’t been able to attend funerals for loved ones.”

I look at one girl in whom I can see the cracks starting to form.

/6

“I get that you’re tired. I get you want to see your friends. I’m tired and I want to see mine too.”

I pause again...

“But I’m telling you, when we end a shift and this is what we have to see, it hurts. It just hurts.”

/7

They’re silent.

I put the truck in drive and head into the garage.

My truck gets parked in it’s designate spot.

I rest my head on the steering wheel for what feels like an eternity.

I start to clean my truck up, put the things back where the things go...

/8

Curiosity finally gets the better of me.

I wander over to one of the doors and look out the window.

Part of me knows that I’m setting myself up for tremendous disappointment.

/9

But I look out the window and they’re gone.

I stand there for a second. These are big feelings and I am tired.

But we’re all tired.

And this was a good reminder of something that I tell my kids all the time...

/10

Anger is combustible.

You can use it as a fuel, but if you let it take control it can consume you.

We are in dark times right now.

But maybe we all need to also remember to take a step back from letting our anger consume us.

/11

Those kids weren’t thinking. That’s what I’m going to tell myself.

I’m sure if I had gone over there and indulged my anger in the way I wanted to, there would have been a very different outcome.

/12

So maybe what we really need is for everyone to just take a step back and remember that we’re all tired.

And we’re all scared. For a lot of reasons.

Because we really need to just take care of each other right now.

We really just do.

/fin