Once I was in a cinema, peacefully trying to watch a movie, when it struck me that if I died right now, I would never have another Dorito.

Then I thought, unless I continuously eat Doritos for the rest of my life, sooner or later I will arrive at a point where I will never have another Dorito.

But also, even if I did eat Doritos continuously, not only would I die sooner (sorry, Frito-Lay, this is a just a fact) but inevitably one of those Doritos would be The Last Dorito, so the days of my life would be counted out in Doritos.

The film was Gladiator.

So anyway, not only did this totally ruin Gladiator for me, because I spent the whole film having morbid Dorito thoughts, but now whenever I see a bag of Dorito's, I feel the breath of the grave. Like for me, the Doritos slogan might as well be "Remember thou art mortal."