Thread by @sgonzalesauthor, When I was younger, I used to love Neopets, a website where [...]

When I was younger, I used to love Neopets, a website where you had virtual pets and earned virtual money by playing virtual games to purchase them things like food, toys and pet pets (you had to be there)

My biggest desire was to get a faerie paint brush for my pet uni.

Now as a kid I used to sink HOURS into this game. I'd play those games and rack up those neopoints, and spend them just as fast on things like food, toys, books, just anything that felt fun. Some I'd put in the bank but it was slow saving. Paintbrushes are EXPENSIVE.

Not long ago I got back into my account as an adult and surveyed the situation. I realised quickly that I was wasteful as a child. I spent so much time living in the moment and buying things that were fun and whimsical that the paintbrush was never in reach.

But adult me knew better. Neopets don't really *need* food, you see. And you can get a bland omelette for free once a day anyway. They don't need toys either. They don't really need ... Anything. So, I got playing.

I spent no time on the fun games that earned little points. I hung out a lot on the advertised games where you essentially watch advertisements while clicking a couple buttons so it can be called a game, to earn 300 points a pop. Easy money.

All the games I enjoyed as a child? Games like Cheat and plushie tycoon? Graveyard of doom? Useless time sinks. I was here to reach my goal. I'd become older. Smarter. Wiser.

I diligently put everything in the bank. Collected interest. Could I have set up a shop like I loved doing as a kid? Sure, but the profit to time ratio was off. Much better to spend that time playing high return games. Even if they were getting boring. And repetitive.

But the money grew and grew. And, before too much time had passed, I had enough for my paintbrush. How had I found this so difficult as a child?! God my brain had truly improved so much over the past 1.5 decades.

I bought the paintbrush. Painted my uni. And I took a moment to honour child-me.

Then it was done. And there was nothing left to do.

I had a faerie uni and an aching pit of emptiness.

So I exited the game and .... Never opened it again.

And that really is the difference between childhood and adulthood isn't it?

My adult brain knew how to select a goal and forge a path. How to maximise the use of my time. What to sacrifice to get there.

But my childhood brain knew things my adult brain has lost its grip on. How having a long term goal is nice, but if you enjoy the journey enough, it doesn't really matter if you hit it either way.

That if buying a toy you can technically afford takes you away from that goal but brings you joy in the moment, it might be worth it sometimes.

That if the more enjoyable way to earn your money isn't always the best paying, maybe the more enjoyable way is a great option still.

That you need to get fulfilment in multiple areas. The fun of the strategy games. The challenge of opening a shop. The indulgent thrill of spending 309 neopoints on a slice of cheese pizza. The satisfaction of ending a day no closer to your goal, but with great memories.

Because if the long term goal is all you have, then it's all you have. If you don't get it, you'll never feel fulfilled. And if you do get it, then it's over, and all you have left is the knowledge that you hit it.

And an emptiness where that goal used to be.

Obviously in this scenario, a long term goal is different to necessary goals. More the... Next level things. The far off dreams, the things you want to achieve one day once your important needs and wants are taken care of.

Your faerie paintbrush.

Maybe a game is just a game, and I'm overthinking it, as my adult brain enjoys doing.

Maybe.

But maybe not.

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