"You know," Katsuki says over his menu, glaring across the table, "I think you're a secret pervert. Why else would you pick Hooters for lunch?"

Shouto doesn't look up from the menu, dragging his thumb down the list of drinks. "I like their wings, not the breasts."

"We could've gone literally anywhere else."

"No, we couldn't have, because getting banned from the library cafes also gets us banned from the other cafes on campus." Shouto's eyes flicker briefly to his. "And don’t complain about it. It's your fault we got banned, not mine."

"You deserved it." It was almost worth it, just for the shock that flashed across Shouto’s face when he had noodles and broth flung at him. "But Hooters, seriously? Of all places? You have to be a pervert. I bet I'll catch you staring at some poor girl in five minutes flat.”

“I told you already that breasts don’t interest me,” Shouto says coolly, eyes on the menu, “but I like their barbecue wings. I'm also gay and in a very committed, very happy relationship. I've got no reason to be looking elsewhere."

"Nah, since you're too busy watching his livestreams," Katsuki snipes. Shouto raises one white eyebrow.

"I watch his cam shows from behind the camera since, you know, I operate it. My boyfriend's getting paid to be a camboy then sleeps with me, so who's losing here?"

“You,” Katsuki tells him, lip curling, “for dating the most repulsive man on the planet. He's not that great, you know. He used to eat dirt when we were kids."

Shouto sighs a long-suffering sigh. “He’s the kindest, sweetest, most charming man I’ve ever met, and you’re in the habit of throwing soba over people who correct your coursework.”

He’s only saved from Katsuki leaning across the table to headbutt him by the arrival of the server, bouncing over to meet them with the energy of a golden retriever puppy. “Hey! What can I get you guys?”

Katsuki turns, ready to bark out his order, and comes face to face with the biggest tits he’s ever seen in his life, attached to the biggest guy he’s ever seen in his life.

He tilts his chin and makes eye contact with a tanned, beaming redhead. Katsuki can’t help his whimper.

"Hello," Shouto says mildly, because apparently he's only into weirdos with freckles and not the vision standing before them. "Can I get the original style wings and some water?"

"Sure, I’ll get you a jug." The redhead turns his searing grin to Katsuki. "And for you?"

He’s got a ring glinting above his front teeth, silver against white. Katsuki makes a strangled sound he didn't think humans were capable of.

Shouto sighs. "He'd like the blackened Mahi tacos and a Fanta.”

“Sweet! I’ll get that through for you guys now.” With one last beaming grin he’s off, and Katsuki’s left to stare at his ass as he goes. That amazing ass, sculpted as if by the gods.

"Who the fuck is that," Katsuki wheezes.

"Eijirou. Says so on his name badge. He must be new, since I’ve never seen him here before." His gaze flickers from his phone screen to Katsuki's face. "What's wrong?"

“What’s wrong? Seriously? Did you even get a look at him?” Katsuki jerks his thumb in the direction Eijirou disappeared in, thunderstruck. “I didn’t know Hooters hired men!” He's definitely not complaining, even if he thinks he's having heart palpitations.

“They had to, after a few men sued them on the grounds of unfair hiring processes.” Katsuki knows the smirk playing around Shouto’s mouth is anything but good news. “Why?”

“Just asking,” he seethes. “God, why do you care? Why are you so nosy? Fuck off and text your asshole boyfriend. Talk to someone who gives a shit about you.”

Shouto, eyebrows raised, goes back to his phone while Katsuki crosses and uncrosses his legs and prays for mercy.

Mercy doesn’t come in the form of Eijirou with their drinks, gliding over and depositing the glasses in front of them. “Shouldn’t be too long for your food!” he tells Katsuki, and he wonders if Eijirou’s grin is permanently fixed to his face.

He watches Eijirou lay the cutlery out, staring at neatly painted black nails.

“Thanks so much,” Shouto says, and he’s definitely smirking this time. /Fuck off/ Katsuki mouths at him, but his teeth clamp down on his tongue when Eijirou reaches back to tighten his ponytail.

A marketing ploy. Definitely a trick by his manager, making the muscular guy wear a skin tight shirt to entice everyone in the building. He gets another smile and then Eijirou’s gone once more, waltzing away to think of more ways to ruin Katsuki's life.

“My brothers used to bring me to Hooters if I promised not to tell our mom and sister.” Shouto pours himself a glass of water, still unaffected by Eijirou’s sheer manliness. “They didn’t like the concept, but Touya and Natsuo shoved food down my throat if it meant I kept quiet.”

“So every guy in your family is weird as hell.” Eijirou’s over by the register, laughing and clapping the back of a pink haired woman. Katsuki half hopes he’ll spill the drinks he’s pouring down the front of his shirt and turn it translucent.

“We’re not weird. Well, my dad's an asshole, but going to Hooters doesn't make me and my brothers weird. Look how busy this place is.” Shouto frowns at him over the time of his glass. “You’re the weird one with some kind of bias over the uniform.”

“I’m not biased on the uniform.” Depending on the server, anyway. Katsuki has a sudden sinking feeling that he might just be the pervert between them.

It doesn’t stop him from staring at Eijirou even when there’s a plate of food in either hand. “For you!” he tells Shouto, dropping the wings before him before beaming at Katsuki once more, setting the tacos against the table. “And for you."

Did he stare at him for just a second too long? Maybe Katsuki’s imagining things out of sheer, unwilling celibacy.

“You let me know if you need anything else, okay?” He nods silently and watches Eijirou bound away, eyes on the booty shorts. He's pretty sure one flex of those thighs would break his neck.

“He keeps looking at you,” Shouto tells him, poking through his wings with a knife and fork because of course he eats wings with cutlery. “Smiling at you, I mean. Maybe he has no taste and likes what he sees. Stranger things have happened."

Katsuki picks up the pitcher and slowly pours water all over Shouto’s plate of wings.

tbc, link to top https://twitter.com/sascakegia/status/1388563637477023744?s=20