So inspired by @doggans and @MicahHirsh, I’m gonna Armchair Imagineer a ride based on #TheOwlHouse (thread) (visual spoilers for toh)

Queue:
The facade of the ride is of course the house itself. There are signs surrounding the building stating “magic training 4 humans today”.

You enter the front door of the house where a certain birdtube extends into the living room. On the couch interacting with guests (like Toy Story Midway Mania Potato Head or Donkey or Mr. Ping) is an animatronic Hooty.

Past the room that lives is a hallway leading to the kitchen, then another hallway pass Luz’s room, then past the old closet, then past the bathroom. Guests encounter plenty of Easter eggs from the show along the way.

Pre-Show:
We reach a room with a light glyph on the wall. The cast member states what this glyph is and was the human Luz’s first spell. He/she asks a kid to slap the wall to make a giant flash of light.

When the child does, on the wall is a 2.5D illusion (like in M&MRR) of a shadowed monster. He declares we are at the whim of the “King of Demons”.

Appearing in the light is King; who immediately gets his fuzzy cheeks scratched by Luz. (Idea of King’s “intimidating shadow by Rubber Duck Productions).
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbvJT9C2ZhhvJb8PFILIkcg/about

Eda tells Luz to knock it off and she does; backing up to reveal Eda, Willow, Gus, and Amity. We see Gus is the one creating this “FaceTime” illusion. The Owl Lady welcomes us to the Owl House and declares we are the only humans in the Boiling Isles, sans Luz.

Eda explains Luz was the first human to do magic and that the child who did the light spell is the second. Luz excitedly tells us we are here to learn magic like how she did. Luz’s friends are there as well to help out with our learning (much to Amity’s gay panic attack).

However, Hooty appears through a window to warn Eda about the Emperor’s Coven outside. Eda tells us we’re gonna skip a few or a dozen lessons and tells Luz she’s in charge of showing them staff riding. Eda and Hooty leave to tackle the guards outside.

Luz explains we are gonna escape using Eda’s duplicated staffs, the Owlberts. She and (semi-nervous) Amity get on a staff while Willow and Gus give us the safety spiel. A door opens leading to Eda’s room which acts as the loading area for the ride itself.

Ride:
The ride is basically a parody of Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey at Universal except it’s the Owl House, at Disney, and not created by a retconning transphobic nightmare.

Instead of Great Hall Benches on Kuka robotic arms, it’s copies of Owlbert (but with seats and shoulder restraints) on Kuka robotic arms. A lot of the elements in the ride are a combination of screens, animatronics, and 2.5D effects (again from M&MRR).

The ride vehicles go out to the balcony and see Luz and her friends about to take off. We start flying above the ground; making our escape.

Below, we see Eda and Hooty fighting off the Emperor’s forces. Hooty headbutts a guard into the air; bumping into our staff and throwing us off course from the gang.

We crash into some trees and land at the snowy Knee. We encounter an animatronic Slitherbeast who attacks us with his goo (actually water). Luz shows up and attacks it with an ice glyph.

Said glyph also sends us flying off the cliff and into the Bat Queen’s lair. We see all the palismen in BQ’s cave and even her babies. An animatronic Bat Queen questions what we are doing here.

However, Gus and Willow catch us with illusion and plant magic and he and Willow take us to Bonesborough. We crash through several background witches and demons; even Tiny Nose (XD).

Then the vine snaps and we crash into the grudgby field at Hexside and into the halls of the school itself. Lockers and Abominations attack us through the hallways. Bump warns us not to go into the closed gymnasium, but naturally we do.

Inside the gym is the fear bringing Grom(etheus) animatronic. Just before the gooey beast can transform into our greatest fears, Luz and Amity show up and tango up an abomination with fireworks attached.

As Grom blows up, we escape through a gym window thanks to Eda and we head back to The Owl House. We fly back into Eda’s room; crashing through the giant eye stain glass window.

Eda then declares we are all now witches to which King says, “what are you talking about? They didn’t learn anything.” Luz and her friends her friends wish us goodbye and we exit the vehicles and exit through the little storage shack attached to the house.

Hope y'all liked this thread and ride idea. If Bob Chapek, Josh D'Amaro, and/or @DanaTerrace are listening, I resign the rights of this idea to you and The Walt Disney Company. I don't care for compensation, I just want you to build this ride.

An IP based ride where said IP stars a bisexual Latina and dances with a lesbian witch, huh? Come @ me #DisTwitter!