Cows are actually incredible animals. Their emotional intelligence is unmatched. They are protective, they grieve, they form strong bonds and they always remember the way home. Now sheep, that is a fucking shit show. Those things were meant to be eaten. Complete airheads.

Cows are also so generous. They are reliable labourers. Then they provide milk, hide and endless contributions to medicine. I can see why women and cows are comparable and exchanged for one another. Perpetual givers and thoroughly abused.

Goats are annoying as fuck. They want to eat everything. We had this one goat that died because it submerged its head in a pot of hot porridge. I don’t know if they want to live in the house like dogs or what. Their meat isn’t even that great, it’s so hairy. Cancel goats.

Pigs are unusual faves. Also very diverse except for the fucking squealing. The great thing about them is that you will also eat them for a good time. Which is great because they love having a great time. But this one time I saw a pig eat bacon and that has never left me. Wow.