Davido And Chioma
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With the rumoured crash of Davido and Chioma’s relationship, I’ve seen takes mostly slighting Davido, but there’s a need for balance. Chioma wasn’t jinxed or blind. Women need to also take responsibility for the kind of men they choose to be with.
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THREAD

It’s reported that Davido allegedly cheated severally in the relationship. In fact, I wasn’t a huge fan of the relationship. Anyone who’s followed me will remember how I wrote about how I think Davido is subtly abusive towards Chioma. The way he shoves her and all.

They started dating in 2015, and whilst in the relationship, Davido had children with two other women. They dropped assurance video with Davido gifting her a 60M Naira Porsche. It made the internet go berserk that year, I still remember.

Now, after selling the hopes of marriage, it’s a tale of Chioma ending up as a ‘babymama’.. Who’s the villain? Who’s the victim? All my opinions here are mere opinions and nothing factual, but this conversation is important to shed light on warped relationship in Nigeria.

If Davido cheated, that’s terrible and sucks, and I understand the backlash on him, however, I do not buy this narrative that Davido ‘used’ Chioma. Was Chioma disrespected? Yes. Was she cheated on, I think so. And all these are bitter and hurts.

First off, Chioma knew the track record of Davido with relationships. She saw him cheat in the relationship, not once, and I understand the sentiment that love can spur us to believe the person we love will change, but more often than not, they don’t change.

Everything about the relationship was weird for me. They did the traditional introduction first before they got engaged, and after the engagement, Chioma got pregnant. Was she drugged all this while? Nope. Her eyes were open.

After having the baby, now they won’t end up together and many folks are only picking on Davido? Why will you get pregnant for a man who’s not married to you? You see, no matter the assurance, the only way to not become a Babymama is simply by not being a babymama!

If you want to get married, do things the right way. Don’t play with fire and cry when you get burnt, and I don’t mean this to sound hard on Chioma. I am leading a conversation generally for women. There’s an overcompensating culture of almost not holding women accountable too.

Women need to hold themselves accountable for the kind of men they choose. Many times y’all know that the man you call yours isn’t really yours, but because fame, money or whatever is involved, you hope that designers will pacify you or that they’ll wake up changed man one day.

Chioma didn’t just end up as a ‘Babymama’ which is considered condescending, just because of Davido, but because she also let it happen. Through each step, she was aware. So as you pick on Davido, there has to be a balance by making women feel accountable in issues like this

Before passionate feminists come here, I am not justifying Chioma being abused. Nothing justifies being cheated on. What I’m talking about is how she ended up becoming a ‘babymama’. It’s equally their fault, if not more of her’s, cos as a woman she determined if she'd have a baby

No man owes you marriage even if you have 200 babies for him. The only way to marry is by getting married, even though he buys you cars, houses, takes you on trips. I am not trying to glorify marriage for a woman here, but there’s a sense of security that comes with marriage.

I get the pain for those who shipped them and hoped they’d end up together, but this is real life. It’s not a romantic movie. Beautiful things end. Hopes cut off. And there’s no need to be bitter towards anyone for that. Sometimes, there’s no future. It’s just this moment.

I’m sure Chioma benefited from the relationship while it lasted, just as Davido did. So this shouldn’t even be about Davido using Chioma. I didn’t know about Chioma’s culinary brand if not for Davido. She’s gotten endorsements from the fame.

It’s rumoured that she left school because of him, I do not trust that information, but whichever way, I’m sure there was mutual benefit. Most importantly, the relationship was consensual! Chioma wasn’t blind.

Lastly, women know when they meet a man who’s responsible & is a keeper, but for some reason, they stick to men they are hoping to be what they truly desire someday for whatever reason. A man is what he is no matter his assurance. If he hasn’t married you, he’s not your husband.

For people mad at Davido for calling Chioma “mama Ify” on her birthday. I know that can come off her condescending considering how being a babymama is perceived, however, it’s not a bad statement on its own. Calling her by her name would have been better, but no be she born Ify?