100% of all male "sexual fantasies" about women, how they should look/act or what "actions" they should do, boil down to "enthusiastic consent", the shape the metaphor takes varies according to personal emotional hangups/beliefs about the world and the subjects relation to it

formalisation of a principle of "enthusiastic consent" of course both a) makes it impossible to genuine achieve and b) makes the *fantasy* of it, impossible to achieve

the idealised fantasy is a reactive partner who isn't neurotically "in her head", but there in the moment with you. the "fantasy", is the shape of the actions the subject considers ideal signifiers, signifying genuine engagement

the female version of "just go up and talk to her" is difficult to articulate, but it's something like, just fuck him

the more elaborate a metaphor and signifier the male requires to "believe" that she is actually there and actually wants to be there and is actually pleased and satisfied with him, the deeper his personal insecurity. fetishism is prioritising the signifier over the signified

neuroticism is the enemy. do: be "naked" together. do not: put on a play for God/the ghost of your dad that's living in your head, to try to prove a point about some shit you're ashamed about

the only male sexual fear is that she will (secretly) not want your fuck. the only male sexual fantasy is that she will want your fuck. everything else is mutually self destructive perversion

the problem with formalising it is that it also formalises the fear that she will (secretly) not want your fuck. my lady doth protest - too little. what is she hiding

all romantic interaction is primarily a game of establishing trust with an unknowable and fundamentally alien Other, by leaps of faith. to formalise it and make it "safe" and "certain" is to make it worthless - no trust can be established between two people, who have *security*

simply by the nature of what trust *is* - trust is *irrational*, and cannot be accounted for in a rational framework. you only need guarantees in a relationship with someone you DONT trust.

this is what mean "be naked together", "be vulnerable together". this is what mean "establish trust": trust is establish, by both parties making themselves naked/vulnerable to each other, literally, by being naked, and metaphorically, by making an irrational leap of faith

what must be understood is that history and chronology is real, and that we do not live in a timeless vacuum of platonic thought, but in a world of time and blood. trust can never be argued or proven, but is the accumulation of faith over time

this why I say, male version of "just go up and talk to her": You must RISK everything. u must risk death and destruction and pain and humiliation

this is the power of true nudism