Dang it! I love you all my secret awesome followers. Where have you been all these days yaar? Hope you'll safe. DM me sometime, maybe?

This tweet's engagemt > than sumtotal of last fortnight of all my tweets

Which confirms it's not you or the algo, it's me

*eats humblepie* https://twitter.com/tweepul/status/1388115609922064386

This puts me in a dilemna about which I've been thinkpondering for sometime now

I don't want to be the tree that falls in the jungle when nobody's there to see & hear it

Not asking for million followers but an odd FF or an occasional tweet that bangs won't be bad isallimsaying

My TL is generally a 'lil bit of this lil bit of that' slice of my life. Or I (try to) be gallowshumor & rageranty over our desi Fuhrer-Himmler's latest oppressions

Coz that's the only way to channel the hurt and anger me & my folks have felt for the last decade or so

You see this anger gushing forth all over the Hindi heartland over corona genocide?

Take that rage x 100, bottle it up, imagine it slow-leaking over last 10-years as nobody around you cares coz we're only ones gasping for attention. Internally that's been my steady-state cond'n

I concede I'm not the most articulate or even at my best when I come here. But I do try my best to stay true to my self

I try to be fun & friendly to strangers & offer a ear or help wherever I can just like IRL. I'm genuinely interested in work & lives of most folks I follow

Usually I'm hestitant to DM mutuals when there's no ask or agenda coz don't want to seem intrusive - except in few cases where I sense it & proactively offer help shd a need arise. Coz I think most ppl here just wanna be left alone, but maybe not? Maybe I've been too sensitive?

Are all my mutuals having dhamaal DM parties and I'm just not invited to them? Or worse, they're indifferent. I'm not even in their thoughts for them to decide to not invite? Kya sex macha rahe ho bhailog and behenlog...let me know

Coz while I do take my privacy seriously (from Moshambo's regime and his SS minions), I do love to share and make friends once we get to know each other. Infact I think overshare too much too soon once I get going. Which is not healthy either

The one cardinal rule I've followed here so far is that I haven't publicly revealed my professional id here. I don't tweet about what I do for a living. Some y'all know me as the guy who sells alphonsos & dragonfrutis online (which was partly true once, it's so much more now)

But by and large I'm pseudonymous. When one criticises this Yajuj-Majuj duo publicly and openly as I do, with no safety net or backup plan B, one doesn't want to be exposed to their herd of fascist pigs & let em hurt you or your dpdts physically or financially if one can avoid it

But I'm now rethinking that stance. I want to talk so much about my work and i think this has held me back. I've even had to stop folks from praising me or my work, or simply talk about it coz it'd drop the kimono. No doubt it blocks me from opportunities that I'm legit seeking

Like connecting with investors, prospective employees, customers, partners even cofounders. It stops me from being myself or express my full self here. It's a form of internal self-harm I've chosen as a tradeoff to occupy this space

But maybe that tradeoff is not worth it?

It's also the reason I've never put out an audio or video of mine even tho I've wanted to do it ever since I've been online '04ish. Every now and then I get a spark of genius which wd be best on AV but since I don't, I don't

Switcheroo time I guess. Maybe I'll start with Spaces

I don't know where I'm going with this thread. Wait, I kinda do. Let me try:

Guess what I'm looking for is an evaluation or appraisal looking outside-in from my follow(er|ee)s

Let me try to put it in an informal survey to you all. Feel free to reply here or DM (open) me

What do you think of me? I'm no saint - I care about who I am but I also care about how I come off to you all. I'd like to put a better, engaged, more awesome Suhail out there

From everything that you know of me so far, what unique or specific info would you like to hear frm me?

What about my world, my background, my milieu would you like to know & understand more of? Or flip it: What do you want to share with me of your world, your life, your background?

Do you want my help in any aspect of your work-life right now? or you think you'll need in future?

Do you want me to follow you?
Do you want to follow me but hesitant due to X?

Which person in your life do you want to connect me to? They need not be cool in the instafluence sense. Need not even be on Twtter. Just generally someone you think will do them and me a world of good

Which mutuals or friends of mine here do *you want to connect* to? Which friend or colleague of mine here you see me interacting with do you want to be setup on a personal or professional date with?

Which millionaire crorepati friend of yours do you want to introduce me to? Not joking - I need some legit filthy (or atleast decently) rich millionaires friends around me who can talk about money, life in that strata without any hangups and no fear of expectation of handouts

Tho I do think that one +ve side-effect of surrounding yrself w/ rich folks is that more wealth-creating opportunities naturally start flowing to you (in the sense of: 'you're the avg of 5 ppl you surround yourself with'). But I dunno man I don't have much exp there. You tell me?

And tbh - yes I won't mind increasing my luck-surface area there. I've talked only once a bit about growing up poor & perpetually on brink of homelessness and how it affects your initiation or knowledge of "extra curricular" interests say arts, music https://twitter.com/tweepul/status/586598234820186112

But there's so much to explore there. Maybe it inspires folks who are presently at that station in life to have hope & chart a course to come out of it? Just like I now read about folks 2-levels above me & try to imagine & work myself towards it? Moving up the ladder so to speak

I can't promise I'll have all the answers, but I can promise I'll give it a serious thought and definitely some changes are in the offing

Especially about dropping the anonymity. Let me know if it's a dumb idea. Let me know if I shd continue to remain pseudonymous?

What else I should be asking of you. Do you know of someone who has been like < 1K for 10 years and then suddenly zoomed up to a network of 5-10-20K? Point me to some up and coming tweeples who I can learn from.

Fire away peoples. I'm all ears. DMs open.