So guys, a lot of stuff that happens during our formative years leaves bigger scars on our minds than we think, alot of people are moving around with unresolved trauma and it’s scary. https://twitter.com/ren_mwale/status/1387846712564330499

I only recently found out that something that happened to me 14 years ago is what actually turned me into a cynical pessimist and that’s just me putting it lightly. My circumstances don’t help either when it comes to how bleak the world looks for me (hit borderline nihilism).

Only difference with me is, when my depression hits most of the time. I’m a high functioning sad boy, so I’ll try and carry on as if things are alright because my brain is there saying “other people have it worse” or some other toxic positive reinforcement mantra.

This in its own way is self destructive because I’m essentially undermining my own traumas and letting them build up so when I get down bad, it’s the most lifeless shit ever and I’m sure anyone who’s ever seen me like that can agree.

Part of why I don’t like surprise visits as much because I usually need time to prepare to my outside smile. It’s sad that this is what it comes to, but personally I’m just glad that my awareness is continually evolving and tbh I was already a very self aware individual.

So that’s saying something, I know most of us have really pushed ourselves to fake it till you make it and that works for a time, but guys it really do be the small stuff messing up your mind. It’s the small things that slowly break you or drive you nuts. Allow yourself to feel,

Cause humans are meant to feel more than just one emotion, if we weren’t meant to feel sadness we would’ve been made without it. Denying your mind rights to feel everything is what causes a lot of self inflicted mental wounds which will then affect your interactions with yourself

And/or others. That’s where you have people projecting their trauma and insecurities. The sad part is people don’t know the origin of alot of their issues and if you don’t know where the problem is and where it started, you wouldn’t know how to solve it.

So guys, talk and feel, alot! You’re not a machine, express yourself, even if it feels trivial let it out. Everything demands a release don’t let old wounds fester and make you infect other people.

And personally I don’t view sadness as a negative emotion, I’m pretty sure you’ve watched inside out you saw what neglecting sadness caused despite that being an animation. It’s just too much of it that causes the problem of falling into despair.

Forgive any typos you encounter btw.