Initially I had a longer thing going, but I think this will suffice to sum up a month’s worth of thoughts.

First, I always believe in preventive proactiveness. That’s why I helped NQNW and glad I have. I also believe everyone is shaped by their own perspective and experiences.

And that there must be space to allow all of these perspectives. Through these months I’m grateful to hear from the perspectives of people with a background in epidemiology, medicine and so on, within the fandom, that continue to inform how I respond to things.

But equally crucial is hearing the on-ground stories from places I have limited perspective to. In this sense, listening to the thoughts of local residents in hachinohe in their various opinions, from those concerned about case influx to local cab drivers happy to get passengers.

I remember interviewing a photographer who covered the school opening in a neighbouring country undergoing lockdown for a year. the bus drivers had to pivot to other menial jobs and money was difficult. still, the school opening was debated too. everything is complicated.

As a person, my opinion changes everyday, shaped by new information. Sometimes my thoughts persist nevertheless. Sometimes they change, affected by things I witnessed. It’s the same for every person, including Yuzuru.

At the start, he spoke mostly about limiting infection. Later, he also spoke about people losing their jobs & airport going dark. Throughout the year and perhaps at comps, he must have talked with other skaters too. And through it, and perhaps other unknowns, decided to do shows.

And I don’t think it reflects inconsistency as much as evolving answers to the same question: how to help in the most impactful way at a time like this? how to balance the costs?

whether one agrees with his response is of course up to individual prerogative. but every person is a continuum rather than a fixed point. taking a personal and completely unrelated example: I held off on criticising kee/gan about his expressed reluctance re: vaccines because

even though vaccine reluctance (diff from aggressive opposition though) is often framed as a left / right (or informed / uninformed) I’ve been surprised to see it reflected in complicated ways where I live, this year.

my mom who often readily took to FB conspiracy theories was quick to embrace vaccines, thankfully. but my young, smart and politically active coworker said she’d take a wait-and-see attitude. it shifted in my mind how I think about vaccine reluctance and how to resolve it.

but back to the original line of thought. I’m not sure how legit the bubble was with cast additions at hachinohe. and it is likely some dropped their guard for a minute after exhausting shows and the relief to finally have it done.

there is also perhaps a sense of safety in being at home ground and surrounded by familiar “co-workers”. at the same time, it is understandable that maskless photos also raises anxiety and conflicting thoughts.

and if one’s work requires constant exposure to infection points, it also makes sense that they will also feel this more urgently.

still, no one has more ‘skin in the game’ in this than the participating skaters. So I think people have a right to express concern. At the same time. I don’t see myself fit to pass judgment as to what they care about, without considering the totality of their action.

And also as someone who sometimes almost forgot to wear my mask before going out of my apartment gate and had to run back.

The same goes with the audience. I was unhappy with SOI for packing the audience and what I heard about the toilet rush. But I don’t know what the audience went through and what having the show meant to them - a treat after a year of hardship? last chance to watch a skater?

factually, attending is risky. still I can’t claim to know the skaters & audiences’ reasons. I just hope the skaters will soon get their pay and stay healthy. needless to say, shows in other countries, had there been adequate demand, would likely not be immune to the same lapses

another thing is that I never expect to be in lockstep agreement with mutuals here. there are many times where I disagreed with certain statements or approaches, on various matters. but I’m pretty busy this year and often I set it aside quietly for later.

but whether one chooses conversation or a quiet time-out, there are ways of handling even the bitterest disagreements without inflicting further conflict, and I feel that the temperature here is in need of serious deescalation.

lastly if you would like to respond to any of these tweets, you’re welcome to, but I would be very slow in responding (busy). even if you agree with parts of this, I also ask that this is not used to shade other fans. I simply want to put my thoughts out there.