The Josh Duggar arrest hits close to home for me: I was married to someone with a similar “problem” and I was a devout Christian at the time who was in a church that handled it badly (a thread): I started dating my ex at 16 and married at 20. He was in the

worship team and charming and funny. My marriage was never great. Looking back I see lots of signs that I missed because I was naive and sheltered. He was always pushing sex and was never satisfied, he called me a prude and would pout and complain.

Shortly after having our 1st child his much younger sister asked for a family meeting where she accused him of molesting her when she was a child. He tearfully claimed that he had no memory of that and... I believe him because his parents did too

I then had another baby and then he had an affair with my then best friend. Our church counseled me to stay with him and forgive him, which I did. I was by then verbally and sexually abused by him and was barely surviving. I stayed another 3 years

until I discovered he was having online relationships with multiple women and engaging in cyber sex with cameras. I will never know what else he was involved in. I finally couldn’t do this anymore and began the process of leaving. He denied everything,

gaslight me relentlessly, it was extremely hard to even leave. My parents couldn’t believe it, my friends pushed me to forgive him, my church turned its back on me, it was the hardest thing I ever did. I had no job, no $ and 2 little girls.

this is a simplified version because it would take weeks to explain all the ways he manipulated me and abused me. I blame the church for sweeping it under the rug and not treating his behavior like abuse. Forgiveness was used to excuse it all.

After I got out he still tried to mess with my head, he even offered me money for sex. It took me 5 years to feel whole again but stories like Josh still trigger me when I see Christians defending him as just a sinner who need prayer. No one prayed for a

husband as much as I did. Prayer didn’t work. These guys are deeply broken and don’t want to be fixed, they are willing to sacrifice their families for their depravity. My ex still shows no remorse and acts like he’s just a normal guy.

they don’t get better. They just get better at hiding it. It’s like living with a drug addict that doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with his addiction. The church is not capable of handling this properly. Jesus and forgiveness can’t fix these guys.

Thanks for reading this. #joshduggar